It treats social interaction like a numbers game instead of a calibration system.

For years, I watched (and participated in) pickup communities where the strategy was simple:

• approach more women

• say “hi, I thought you were cute”

• repeat until it works

For most men, the outcome looked like this:

• high rejection rates

• awkward public interactions

• occasional numbers that went nowhere

• eventually, burnout or social stigma

The issue wasn’t effort. It was structure.

This is the system I wish I understood earlier.

The Core Principles

Before we go into the framework, you must keep these core principles in mind as they make up the entire framework.

Volume is your enemy ——> You must be choosy!

Not only based on looks but based on whether she is open to even being approached. You aim for 5 interactions that go on for 20 to 30 minutes over 20 that go on for no more than 5. Your interaction must be 20 minutes minimum if possible, this gives enough time for her to know you as a person.

The Value Anchor.

This makes or breaks your entire approach. You have to have a strong why behind her wanting to even invest any time in you.

Good value anchors:

• Nightlife connections

• Knowing the city well

• Giving her unique advice about the city

• Giving her knowledgable about something she cares about (starting her own business, career in finance, etc.)

• Knowing the best places to go to and when

• Powerful life stories around traveling and seeing the world

• Sexy hobbies like cooking or sailing

Notice, good value anchors are those that most women will like or those that help their lives become easier.

Bad value anchors:

• Being good at Pokemon

• Believing in yourself and being “confident”

Bad value anchors are nerdy, generic motivational BS, and will only appeal to a very small number of women. Oh you’re confident? Great, so is the last guy who took a Tony Robbins class or had a good day. They don’t set you apart.

It cannot feel like a cold approach.

If you are running across the street to do “a set” or chasing girls down, you are doing it wrong. A good question to ask is this:

If people were observing my interaction with her mid-way, would they think we know each other already or that I just ran up to her to ask for her number?

The former is what you want. Now for the framework.

You don’t do it too far from where you live, logistics are king.

You don’t want to be in a situation where she is super into you but you drove out an hour away to do a “daygame session”. Contrary to whatever Pickup guys tell you, quality women are not going to sleep with you in your crappy Sedan. If you are too broke to live in the city, fix the finances first.

Now for the framework.

The Low-Volume Social Framework

This system has 4 phases:

1. Positioning (Where you already are matters more than what you say)

You don’t “go out to approach women.”

You go out to:

• live your day

• move through environments where social interactions naturally happen

Examples:

• coffee shops

• parks

• city walking areas

• nightlife venues

The mindset shift:

You are not entering “approach mode.” You are entering a social environment.

This alone removes most unnatural behavior.

2. Opportunity Selection (Most interactions are not worth starting)

Most guys doing it wrong approach:

• anyone available

• anyone attractive

• anyone within reach

That’s the mistake.

In reality, timing matters more than intent.

Good opportunities:

• she is stationary (not rushing)

• she is mentally available (not distracted)

• she is in a neutral or open context

Bad opportunities:

• rushed movement

• closed body language

• high external focus (phones, headphones, urgency)

You are not looking for women.

You are looking for open windows of interaction.

3. Signal Check (The first 15–30 seconds decides everything)

The opening is not a “pitch.”

It is a calibration test.

Use situational openers:

• comment on environment

• ask something simple about context

• keep it low pressure

Your goal is not to impress.

Your goal is to answer:

“Is she warm, neutral, or closed to interaction?”

If she is:

• warm → continue

• neutral → lightly continue

• closed → exit immediately

Most men ignore this step and force interactions forward. That creates awkwardness.

4. Controlled Expansion (Only escalate if interest is already present)

If she responds positively:

You gradually expand the interaction:

• small talk (context only)

• light personal sharing

• short rapport building

No forcing. No rapid escalation.

The key idea:

You only deepen interactions that already show signs of receptivity.

5. Expansion Requires a Value Anchor (Not Just Rapport)

Most men think once an interaction is warm, they just “keep talking.”

That’s where things stall.

Warmth alone is not enough to sustain interest. You need what I call a value anchor:

a clear, situationally relevant reason for continued engagement

This is not about “showing value” in a performative way. It’s about giving the interaction direction.

What a Value Anchor Actually Does

A value anchor:

• Answers her “Why” for investing more time in you

• gives the conversation purpose beyond small talk

• creates forward momentum

• shifts you from “random interaction” → “someone worth continuing with”

• connects you to something outside the interaction itself

Without it, the interaction becomes:

polite, flat, and easily exited

Examples of Strong Value Anchors

A good value anchor is always:

• specific

• grounded in context or identity

• naturally relevant to the conversation

Examples:

• “I know a few interesting spots around here you probably wouldn’t find on your own”

• “I’ve been exploring this part of the city a lot lately—there are a couple hidden places worth checking out”

• “I’ve met a few people into X recently, you’d probably get along with them”

• “There’s an event / place / experience I think you’d actually enjoy”

Notice what these do:

They don’t ask for anything.
They extend the world of the interaction.

Why This Matters in the System

The value anchor is what separates:

❌ Generic interaction flow

• open → talk → awkward fade → exit

✔ Structured interaction flow

• open → calibration → warmth → anchored continuation → optional logistics

Without the anchor, escalation feels forced.
With it, continuation feels natural.

6. Natural Conversion (Logistics follow interest, not pressure)

Traditional advice says:

• “ask for the number early”

That creates pressure.

Instead:

• if interest builds, let logistics emerge naturally

• if she is receptive, suggest continuation in a soft way

Example:

“Yes it is a great spot, the views of the city are top notch, we can check it out together sometime

If she is engaged:

• continue

If she is not:

• exit cleanly

No over-pushing.

Why This Works Better Than Cold Approach Volume

Cold approach fails for most men because:

• high volume signals lack of selectivity

• forced interactions feel socially misaligned

• women interpret intent faster than words

• public context amplifies social risk

The paradox is:

The more you try to “get results,” the less natural the interaction becomes. You are coming off as a beggar and coming off as desperate.

Low-volume approach fixes this by:

• increasing selectivity

• reducing social pressure

• improving perceived calibration

• making interactions feel situational, not intentional

The Real Goal

This system is not about “approaching women.”

It’s about becoming the type of person who:

• moves naturally in social environments

• does not go against momentum and force interactions (eg: running after women across the street)

• only engages when there is mutual openness

• doesn’t force outcomes

• treats social interaction as context-driven, not target-driven

When this is done correctly, something interesting happens:

You stop looking like someone trying to meet women—and start looking like someone women can naturally meet.

If you take nothing else from this:

• Volume is not a strategy

• Context is everything

• Early calibration matters more than boldness

• Selectivity signals status

• Forced escalation kills natural attraction

• Make at least a decent income

• Sleep with a number of women

• Be in decent health

• Have memorable social experiences

If your goal is to find your future wife at 25, this post (or even this site), is not for you. For everyone else, read on.

Thank me later.

1. Move to that world class city right now. Your dating life, social experiences, personal growth, and future self will thank you. Most importantly, you will learn some street smarts and how to operate in intense environments. It will offer you some of the most memorable experiences of your life.
   

2. Put your ego to the side and be a student of life. It will make dating, having a nice career, making good friends, and having fun experiences easier for you. This is what allows you to have the best experiences in life.
   

3. Networking is misunderstood. It’s not “who you know”, it’s often “how can you improve the lives of valuable people so they see a benefit in improving yours?”. Improve the lives of valuable people and see yours improve exponentially over the years. Be indispensable.
   

4. Your revenge fantasy is not coming true. That hot 21-year-old Barbie who rejected you at the bar last night is going to have her fun and then find a rich caring husband in her 30s. Male thirst is too high for her not to find a rich man. Forget revenge, just be the best you.
   

5. Unless you put in serious work right now, your dating and love life will get worse in your 30s. However, the upside to this is if you put in the work on your finances, looks, dating skills, and lifestyle in your 20s, you will see the rewards in your 30s.
   

6. There is a clear and unforgiving hierarchy in adulthood. Winners live in world class cities, look good, party, get beautiful women, and make money. Losers live in small towns and suburbs, marry some Mid at best, and act morally superior about their family life while hating the men winning.
   

7. You can tell how poorly someone is doing in life based on how morally self-righteous they are. For example, TradCons on X promoting “family life” and bragging about being a “Proud Dad” yet shaming you for Bachelorhood. Same with the Woke movement, it extends beyond political parties.
   

8. One of the most valuable skills you will learn in your 20s is how to keep toxic, slimy, seedy, sketchy, and parasitic people out of your life. It is a must. If you don’t learn it, your life will suffer immensely and you’ll be lucky to see 30. These types will age you fast or worse!
   

9. Doing nightgame and working in toxic work environments will train you in the art of spotting and dealing with toxic people. Spend your early and mid-twenties seeing how they operate so you can combat them, then bounce. It’s a useful life skill but don’t stare into that abyss for too long!
   

10. Most upvoted advice online is garbage. Losers spread it, losers en masse upvote it, and suddenly it looks credible. Spend enough time on X and they will have you thinking being a 24 y/o Bachelor in a small town is better than NYC. Learn by living and seeing how those where you want to be operate.
    

11. Never tell your friends your salary, it is the easiest way to destroy a friendship. Your friends like you when you are on their level. Once you ascend, they will hate you.
    

12. Your school and college friends will envy your life getting better every year. Watch for passive-aggressive behavior. A lot of them are secretly hoping that you fail.
    

13. Most older men aren’t mentors, they are usually just angry, cynical, and envious people. Life has passed them by and they think they are owed respect because of age alone. Avoid most of them like the plague. Do not go to them for “mentorship”
    

14. Turn on mail forwarding when you move apartments or bad things will happen. Best case scenario, your future neighbor hates you. Worst case scenario? Sensitive information about you ends up in the wrong hands.
    

15. Keep your interactions with bosses and coworkers to a minimum outside of work. You are there to perform and get paid. The best bosses and coworkers are just that, bosses and coworkers. The second it turns personal and you hear “My team is like my family”, get ready to stare into that abyss!
    

16. Choose the boss who is a Chad over the nerd. Chads are confident and used to having power. Learning by osmosis is a real thing. You will learn some of the ways of Chad by working for him.
    

17. Judge a book by its cover and appearance. A guy who can’t dress well or take care of his health has no self-respect. How can a man who has no respect for himself ever genuinely respect you?
    

18. “Bros before hoes” is a lie. Your guy friends will immediately throw you under the bus over a girl. Do not listen to any man trying to be your bro when women are involved. He is just sharpening the knife to stab you in the back with.
    

19. In the world of meeting beautiful women, most other straight men are not your friends. Don’t bro it up with every guy at the club. Be friends with the guys who work in nightlife and the movers and shakers on the party scene, that’s how your life gets better.

20. There is no replacement to putting in the work when it comes to getting good with women. Go on a bunch of dates, fail. Approach a bunch of women, fail. Then learn from your mistakes and get better.
    

Occasionally, I will browse certain Looksmaxx communities where young guys are talking about how you must peak in your teens and early twenties or it is “over, bro.” I also hear from some men who are just now hitting their stride in life and with women in their thirties that they feel as if they “missed out.” This makes sense, as American and Western society put a lot of emphasis on peaking at a young age:

• High school years are the “best years of your life”

• No love like “young and in love”

• College is the “best four years of your life!”

We simply have this idea in American society that before the age of 25, life is meant for fun and partying, and after the age of 25, it is meant to start a family and have kids. You should have had your fun before 25. Why do things like grow, have fun new experiences, and enjoy life after that age? You are meant to have a family, have kids, and struggle. “Real life,” as they say, has begun—“welcome to adulthood.” Quite a depressing thing to talk about when you are younger and not having an ideal time in life. You’re telling me it only goes downhill from here? It’s already tough!

Perhaps this is one of the reasons so many teenagers and younger people are depressed. There is this pressure to have as much fun as media portrays (excessive drinking, excessive partying, excessive hookups, etc.). If you are not doing that, then clearly you are damaged and something is wrong with you. What can I say? American society has a lot to work on.

The reality about my upbringing.

While I was not a loveless shut-in during my college days, I also wasn’t the guy who was dating the hottest girls or hooking up left and right. I did get some interest from girls that were hot, but I lacked the game to capitalize on it. I had some trauma from my youth that I was going through. Needless to say, my college experience was decent but nowhere near Van Wilder levels.

Throughout my twenties, I would get better every year but then ask myself if I was overcompensating.

Am I too old to party and get laid?

Am I just trying to compensate for what I missed out on?

Will it ever be as good as it would have been if I had this at 18?

What if I peaked at 21 instead of in my 30s?

The reality is, I wouldn’t be here.

I came to find that my insecurity and my feeling of insignificance in my teens and early twenties ultimately led me to:

• Learning game

• Improving my looks

• Getting my finances right

• Moving to a world-class city like NYC and later on Miami

• Hungering for knowledge that improved my life exponentially

• Not settling in life

• Still fighting to be the best version of myself in my thirties

So what if I had peaked at 18 or 21? Well, we look at the past with rose-tinted glasses. Let’s give some credit to peaking at such a young age. Without a doubt, we all prefer an ideal youth over a crappy one. I would have probably:

• Had an out-of-this-world college experience

• Met a ton of good friends

• Partied with athletes who were going pro

• Had spring breaks and study abroad trips to remember for life

• Dated some good-looking college girls

• Moved to the same big city after college where I knew a lot of my college friends

• Had a massive head start thanks to my network

• Developed great experiences I can look back on in old age

• Made lifelong friends I could catch up with yearly

• Just coasted through the rest of life thinking I did it all

We don’t have to live in denial here; it would have been amazing. I would have probably looked back on old photos of myself and smiled at the guy I used to be. But therein lies the issue: the guy I used to be, not the guy I am. It is never “peak early and be set for life”—there are trade-offs.

And I noticed something about my friends who peaked early.

I noticed that the guys I knew who peaked early with life, women, and dating just settled after that. A lot of them didn’t see the need to move to a world-class city in adulthood, stay in shape, work on learning skills needed to get better with dating, or really do much. Almost all of them stayed behind, got married, had kids, and sort of just let themselves go.

Rarely did any of my friends who were popular in their teenage and college days do anything highly ambitious. For most of them, life had concluded, so there was no point in moving to a major world-class city, starting their own promising business, trying to look good after 22, or challenging themselves to get better. It was now life on cruise control, and they were fine with it. In reality, if they are content with it, I am happy for them.

Quite a few I caught up with in recent years have admitted that their best years are behind them. The conversation is always about the man they used to be and the experiences they had, never the ones they are having. I never thought about it until now. It seems like once they hit their peak, they accepted that life for them as an individual ends at 25 and a new chapter, focused on family, starts.

In some cases, I felt a mildly depressed vibe in these people—the feeling of knowing that your best days are behind you. I met some guys who would talk about how hard dating is after college and how it is not as easy as it used to be. I would meet some people who hit that quarter-life crisis and questioned their existence because they didn’t know how to handle adulthood anymore. Meanwhile, some did ease into family life and realized that now it was time for a new phase!

Nothing wrong with that, in my view, but it did make me think differently. If I had peaked at 21, I would not have:

• Moved to NYC

• Met countless celebrities in person

• Shaken hands with the movers and shakers on this planet

• Traveled to foreign countries and had wild experiences

• Met friends who changed my life for the better

• Discovered trends and innovative ideologies before they went mainstream

• Been able to sleep with and date women that millionaires are fighting for

• Gone to parties that are on par with the Playboy Mansion party

• Partied in various foreign countries

• Slept with former classmates in NYC who used to be the hottest girls back in my college days

• Had crazy stories of living in Manhattan that only the privileged few had

• Actually become even better looking with age (I received a lot of compliments on my looks in college from those who were not family)

• Moved to Miami

• Made powerful nightlife connections in Miami that let me get into the best parties

• Still be in my 30s, feeling like I have a lot of life ahead of me

• Started this site

I have nothing against people who peak in their youth and am actually happy that they are raising families. However, I look at them and don’t want to be anything like them either. It’s a weird place to be.

Call it a silver lining?

The more I think about it, had I peaked in my youth, I would have also settled faster. I would not have cultivated the grit, resilience, and tenacity needed to thrive in adulthood. Oftentimes, many people who do have it easy and ideal in their youth do not. Exceptions exist, for sure, but they are exceptions.

It’s not exactly that Post30 would have peaked in college and then stayed there throughout his 20s and 30s. In reality, I would have peaked in college, settled down quickly, and not have grown much after that. My drive, ambition, and grit would not have been cultivated to where they could have brought me the great life I live now. It really is a pick and choose.

Meanwhile, I found that my lackluster upbringing and youth drove me to go out of my way and improve myself. I looked for answers in places people would not. I took risks that most people I grew up with could not even think of. The rewards were something I would not trade even the best youth for.

So which would I rather have?

I realize that if I had peaked early, the great life I lived after 25 would have never happened. I would have probably settled and not wanted to improve myself all that much. So realistically, the answer came down to either having the most ideal college experience or an ideal, fun adulthood. That is where the tough question comes in.

If you ask me, I’d choose the life I ended up with over everything. In fact, I will even offer up that a peak college experience can beat peaking at 30 in Miami. However, I feel like a peak college experience is like a flash. You peak for 4 to 5 years (or more if you are Van Wilder), and then adulthood hits. I would rather experience a high for much longer, even if it is not that high of a high.

In reality, there isn’t a right answer. For those of you wondering what an ideal youth would have been like, I say it would have still come with its own unique price tag.

In my teens, I was completely loveless until I got to college. In college, I had some fun, but overall it was underwhelming. In my twenties, I started to hit my stride, but there was still work to be done. In my thirties, I finally broke through—higher-quality women, real abundance, and consistency.

Looking back, I am mentally, spiritually, and emotionally a completely different man. I don’t even relate to who I was a year ago. At this point, I can usually tell whether a guy is genuinely good with women or faking it. I’m not always right—but I’m right far more often than I used to be.

So what does being “good” with women actually mean?

It means you can consistently bring multiple attractive women into your life with ease. You show up to bars and clubs with them. You take them home. You don’t chase—you attract. There’s no need to force anything because the interest is obvious.

Most importantly, women genuinely enjoy being around you. They reach out. They invest. They make things easy.

That’s the baseline.

I’ve been that guy at different points in my life—and it changes you.

Here are six ways.

1. You Become Far Less Judgmental

One of the clearest signs a man is terrible with women is how judgmental he is.

This is why the Red Pill and Manosphere fall apart in practice. You cannot succeed with women while constantly complaining about their behavior. It doesn’t work.

Men who are actually good with women don’t care what women do with their lives. They understand reality: attractive women have options, and they act accordingly. No outrage. No moral grandstanding.

There’s another layer to this.

When you become successful with women, people start judging you. You walk into venues with attractive women, and you feel the eyes on you. You hear the comments. You get the moral lectures.

So you stop judging—because you understand what it feels like to be judged.

And when women don’t feel judged around you, they open up. They relax. They trust you. That’s where everything changes.

2. You Become Extremely Selective With Men

When I struggled with women, I talked to everyone.

Random guys in class. Random guys at bars. Anyone, anywhere.

That stops.

You realize very quickly that most men waste your time or try to take from you. If a man doesn’t bring value, there is no reason to engage beyond basic politeness.

Men who are successful with women operate this way—and so do successful people in general. Access to them is earned. I know this sounds smug and I wish I could say it in a more humble way. I don’t consider myself on the same level as a celebrity or highly important person but I prefer my quiet time over just socializing with everyone.

This doesn’t mean being rude. You stay polite, you keep it brief, and you move on. But you stop giving your time away for free.

Especially in nightlife, this becomes obvious. You’re there with a purpose. You’re not there to high-five strangers and make small talk.

And yes—many men will try to interfere with you. They’ll interrupt, compete, or pretend to be friendly while positioning themselves. You see it enough times, and you stop being naive.

You also see how draining certain groups of men are—online and in real life. Constant complaining. Zero accountability. No results.

Then you ask the obvious question: why would any woman with options tolerate that?

They wouldn’t.

3. You Become More Private

At some point, people notice.

They see you with different women. They see patterns. They start talking.

That’s when you learn: visibility is a liability.

You switch venues. You avoid attention. You stop broadcasting anything. You move quietly.

There is no upside to being known for your success with women. Only downside.

The need for validation disappears. Being seen as “that guy” stops mattering. In fact, it becomes something you actively avoid.

Your life simplifies:

• Women you’re seeing

• A small circle of trusted friends

• Everyone else at a distance

You also grow apart from people. Old friends. Sometimes even family. Not everyone understands your lifestyle—and most people judge it.

So you keep things to yourself.

4. You Constantly Question Motives

You stop taking people at face value.

You start asking: why is this person doing this?

Surface-level answers aren’t enough anymore. You want the real reason.

Because once you operate in high-demand social environments, you realize something quickly: people come with agendas.

If someone is overly nice, there’s a reason.

If someone is posturing morally, there’s a reason.

You become highly attuned to inconsistencies—tone, body language, eye contact. You notice when something doesn’t match.

Your intuition sharpens because it has to.

At a certain point, you start thinking the same way highly attractive women do. You evaluate first, engage second.

And that shift alone filters out a massive amount of problems.

5. You Understand Everything Is Value Exchange

You stop taking things personally.

You show up alone to a high-end venue and get turned away? Of course you do.

The venue is a business. It rewards what benefits it.

So you adapt. You become the guy who brings value—consistently.

The same applies everywhere else.

Rejection isn’t personal. It’s positioning. It’s timing. It’s competition.

You either meet the bar, or you don’t.

Most men don’t.

You see it constantly—guys forcing interactions, getting ignored, creating awkward situations. No awareness. No value.

Then they complain about the outcome.

That mindset disappears when you understand the game.

6. You Finally Understand Attractive Women and why they do what they do

This is where everything clicks.

You see what women deal with—constantly.

You see how men approach them. You see how rejection is handled. You see the persistence, the pressure, the entitlement.

You watch it happen in real time.

And suddenly, their behavior makes perfect sense.

The caution. The selectiveness. The coldness at times.

It’s not random. It’s a response.

Your empathy increases—not from theory, but from observation.

You realize there is no grand conspiracy against men. There is just reality: women have to be selective because the cost of a bad decision is high.

So they choose carefully.

And they gravitate toward men who feel strong and capable of protecting them be it through status, connections, physical strength, or top notch social awareness.

Not by accident—but by necessity.

At that point, the goal becomes obvious.

You want to become that man.

Miami is a happening place and one of the most important cities in the world right now.

One simple way to put it is that the who’s who is moving here and not stopping. Whether it is a major financial institution, a giant tech company, countless Michelin-star restaurants opening every month, a famous internet celebrity, billionaires, or recognized names like Messi and Beckham, the who’s who of everything is moving to Miami. In my opinion, it is one of the major cultural meccas of the world right now. It truly is beautiful to see.

Now, here are some of the major lessons I have learned after five years in Miami.

1 - In a good way, people here don’t care.

It is almost impossible to offend a Miami local or people in Miami. Miami Beach may be a different story, but as for Miami itself, the vibe is different. Be a prideful conservative wearing a MAGA hat? No one cares. Be a prideful liberal? No one cares. Maybe it’s because, for some, English fluency is not that high.

In most major cities in the Western world, this sort of nonchalance is almost unheard of. For example, wear a MAGA hat in NYC and see how long you last. If anything, what happened to Sneako recently may happen to you. In Miami, people just don’t get riled up over politics. You don’t really have that much of an outrage culture here, other than some weirdos on South Beach.

This is part of why Red Pill influencers and Twitch streamers thrive and walk so confidently here. You can say outlandish stuff, and people won’t go berserk. There is a good reason you don’t have that many Twitch streamers in London, Paris, New York, or San Francisco. We don’t even know if they would be alive by the end of the stream.

2 - Maybe I am too sheltered from the world living here.

I think anyone who lives in Miami is, in many ways, sheltered from the harsh realities of the world. When I am bored, I watch videos of PublicFreakouts and normal people getting into altercations left and right. I see people harassing someone for being Indian in public. However, living in Miami, I have rarely had rude public encounters.

As someone who goes out to nightgame multiple nights a week, regularly goes to coffee shops and out to eat, and often goes on runs, I have found that it is rare for me to run into bad encounters. A part of me thinks that if I were in Dallas or Toronto, I would regularly have issues in public. Whatever outrage is going on in the world politically, I feel like I live in some bubble in Miami.

3 - There are many beautiful women here, and that makes life better.

Life is better when there are a lot of beautiful women around. One of the best parts about the women of Miami is that you can go to a working-class area and still see a sexy Latina MILF. Meanwhile, in a lot of other cities, you have to go to the best parts. It’s a far cry from living in Atlanta, where the quality across the board is just abysmal and the women who look good are inaccessible due to running in tight social circles.

Here in Miami, whether you go to Brickell, Little Havana, or Hialeah, you are bound to find women who are just out-of-this-world beautiful. What this leads to is men being far more pleasant to deal with. The mood of your average guy here is better compared to a city like Atlanta, where the average guy is frustrated and beaten down. Men here are more pleasant to be around since there are so many beautiful women to look at.

In the past, I have stayed in cities like Seattle and San Francisco. What I noticed was that the average women were just hideous, and that threw off the mood of the men there. The men were passive-aggressive, weird, overcompensating, bitter, and competitive over minor things.

Living in Miami builds an abundance mentality in you that other cities cannot. You don’t care if that Latin bombshell rejects you, as the city has so many other good-looking women out and about. Meanwhile, in a lot of other cities, you may find a handful of good-looking women when out at night. In Miami, good-looking women do not have the same leverage, as they are overly abundant.

4 - Foreign women are overhyped, and Anglo women aren’t that bad.

In a lot of “manosphere” and masculine circles, there is this worship of foreign women while degrading Western women. Miami has taught me one lesson—the same lesson NYC taught me to an extent: all of these “feminine” and “traditional” women are not so feminine and traditional anymore once their needs are met. When you deal with one too many money-hungry Russian and Ukrainian sugar babies, you will miss genuine women.

Miami has taught me that once money and a green card stop being a concern, a lot of foreign women become even more entitled, demanding, prudish, and predatory than American women. All it takes is for you to deal with enough Ukrainian “refugees” walking around Brickell City Centre with heavy bags, as their tenth sugar daddy has them on a high-end budget. Perhaps you deal with a few Europeans who are only interested in seeing what club you can get them into. Maybe a few Latinas who go out of their way to act disrespectful.

Do enough approaches and game in Miami, and you are going to miss American women. You start to slowly realize that when they are good, American women are quite the catch. The only reason guys found “feminine” and “traditional” women is because these girls were desperate for cash and a green card. You also learn to hate the word “traditional” when it comes to women, as it just translates into: “I want you to give me free stuff, but I also want to be prudish and withhold sex since I am pretending to have values.”

5 - Cities with a culture heavy on appearances are actually pleasant places to be.

Miami is known for being a city where appearances—how you look, how fit you are, how rich you are, and how well you dress—matter a lot. What I have found is that I strongly prefer this over dorky cities. The reality is, we humans are visual creatures. No matter what we say, we care about appearance and how someone looks.

In cities like Miami, LA, and Las Vegas, the lifestyle is all about partying, beautiful women, and looking good. While initially judgmental, you find that the social culture in such cities is simple: look good, provide value, bring a good vibe, make people happy, and you will make friends. Dating also becomes somewhat straightforward as a result.

Meanwhile, in cities like San Francisco and Seattle, the culture is dorky. It masks itself as self-righteous and advanced, when deep down inside, everyone also cares about appearances. Everyone is wearing their moral mask in public while envying cities with prettier people in private. What you get is a lame and insufferable social culture that I like to call “Reddit culture.” Everyone is bitter, you don’t know how to trust people, it gets lonely, and you constantly have to watch what you say.

Then you have cities like Dallas and Atlanta, where everyone is putting on their “Christ Is King” mask (translation: advertising moral values they don’t plan to live by). These are cities where people live the “good Christian” suburban life while secretly desiring to be around the glamour and hedonistic lifestyle. Once again, morality masks the desires of people themselves.

Somehow, when we can be honest with ourselves as a society about our desires instead of hiding behind some self-righteous, morally superior mask, social interactions become far less complex and far more pleasant.

For a few years, I was that guy. I would go out at night and do a number of approaches and then do daygame sessions too. I was a part of major Game communities as well. After doing it for a couple of years or so, I realized a difficult truth not just about my results but also about the guys in the community.

It is really not going well at all.

In fact, it is going quite poorly for guys doing these sessions as a whole. It is going so poorly that entire cities have been consumed by “daygamers” and pickup coaches. Just last year, the top-voted post on the Warsaw subreddit was by a woman talking about how she gets approached ten times in a day. Historically, malls have banned pickup artists, such as the Eaton City Center in Toronto.

When I was in major Game communities such as RSD Nation and, as of late, Game Global, we found that most cold approachers were not getting results. Most were not even approaching; they were just whining the whole time. However, even the ones out there approaching were not actually getting results with attractive women. The best we noticed was a guy getting some action from a “fresh off the boat” immigrant chick who was mediocre-looking, and that was about it.

I cannot recall any “daygamer” or guy who cold approaches in “sessions” getting high-quality women. To give credit, some who are world-class and great at it can make a living through getting with tourists who can occasionally look good. However, by and large, I want to say that for every one cold approacher doing well, there are at least nine who get nothing and are often frustrated. Even though I had my decent runs with it, I realized that, ultimately, cold approach presented a major ceiling, and most guys doing it in these Game communities were having abysmal results.

The actual problem – objective value.

Cold approach, especially when done at a high volume, portrays low value. Think about the last time you were walking on the streets of a major city and a homeless guy begged you for change, or when someone tried to give you a pamphlet. In both cases, neither person portrayed high value or someone you would want to be around. A typical “daygamer” is the same way.

However, pickup coaches teach “value” as believing in yourself via “inner game.” This is nonsense. In fact, it is such garbage that it has led their students in the wrong direction, not just with women but with life. I have been baffled by the number of guys in Game communities who do not have their lives together at all.

For example, one of my old wingmen drove for Uber for a living. The guy was habitually late because he lived with his parents an hour or two away. Yet, he would drive into the city to do Game and hope to bring a girl to his rusty sedan to close. At times, he would most certainly close, but it was not with any quality.

Every pickup coach knows this “homeless loser dating a supermodel” story. So many pickup and Game guys swear by it. They completely dismiss the importance of not just looks but also lifestyle. Therein lies the problem and why the vast majority of cold approachers and pickup guys fail.

You have to be someone worth objectively investing in.

No, “believing in yourself” and having “strong inner game” are not it. She is not going to choose some loser living with his parents at 28 over a good-looking guy living by himself in a nice part of town. These “Game” guys ask the wrong question when they ask, “How can I close more women?”

Instead, the question they should be asking is:

“What unique value do I objectively provide that would make her life better?”

OR

“How good will her experience be after she comes into my life?”

OR

“How does she walk away from this with an amazing experience that will stick with her for life?”

Every guy in the “Game” community is out there with “strong inner game” as he walks into the club in his Cheeto-stained anime shirt, talking to countless girls and getting blown out. This is why the pickup movement as a whole failed, RSD had to shift into “self-belief,” and movements like the incel and blackpill movements rose. The guys in them could not answer the question of what unique value they provide.

On top of that, they were sold a lie that most men are getting laid. Pickup coaches advertised that they “get students laid very fast.” This, too, is false and sets misleading expectations. It convinces men that a couple of lines and tactics will fix their dating lives when the problem is much deeper.

When I say unique value, I think back to what my friend Bowtied Passport said once:

A chilling statement once you really think about it. You have men who do “Game” for a decade, mindlessly approaching women and occasionally getting laid. It is no wonder why these men often become cynical about Game and turn to things like religion and politics. In fact, years of rejection have defeated them.

In a nutshell, cold approach and the men who do it at high volume are quite short-sighted.

It has reached a point where entire cities are fed up with “daygamers.” I think cold approach, by its nature and the way it is taught, causes men to be short-sighted and burn bridges. Not only have I noticed this in how these men treat women, but also in how they treat people in general. I have met cold approachers in the Game community who were just leeches.

One guy I remember was this buff Peruvian dude who would spam approach a ton in Miami. Quite often, he was even kicked out of venues. The quality he got was abysmal. When I had some connections at venues in Wynwood, this guy tried to guilt-trip, use, and pressure me to let him cut lines.

He would be habitually late and then expect me to bail him out, which I did not. When I didn’t, he would angrily curse at me and call me a bad friend. Meanwhile, he never gave me anything in return or offered any value himself. I cut ties with him as a result.

This sort of behavior is short-sighted. You see it when guys spam approach an entire city, and eventually, women get fed up. Even Game coaches run “bootcamps” in Eastern Europe and have students flooding the streets “sarging.” As mentioned earlier, it has reached a point where women are frustrated.

Meanwhile, the guys who are actually successful with women and Game at a high level are far from short-sighted. They think long-term and offer value in all areas. People who interact with them genuinely feel like they’ve gained something—because they have. These guys provide value that makes them irreplaceable in some ways.

So what is “unique value,” or just “value” in general?

One way to think about value is to ask: “How do people benefit from interacting with me, and how do I make their lives better as a result?”

Men are misled into thinking that just “being confident” and using “the right pickup line” will take a hot blonde from the club to their place in five minutes. In reality, it doesn’t work that way. For any attractive woman to invest in you—especially to go home with you—you need to provide value. You need to offer something most men are not.

Think about it:

• She has already been approached by multiple drunk guys

• Men follow her around at the grocery store

• Guys try to “interview” her at the gym or on the street

You “taking action”? That’s not value. Many other guys have already done that. You have to fill the gap in what she is actually looking for.

Now think about a girl out at night with her two attractive friends. She has already rejected multiple guys, some of whom were pushy or aggressive. What does she want?

• A good-looking guy who is her type

• A fun night with her friends

• To explore nightlife

• Access to better venues

• Someone who can show her around

• A genuinely cool guy she is attracted to

• Status and a better overall experience

Most guys approaching her are not providing that.

If you are a guy who is her type and well-presented, that alone can be value. But you need more than that. Regardless of background, you need to be in good shape and present yourself well.

How a Value-Minded Man Thinks

Let’s do a quick exercise.

You can look at the two women above and let’s say for the sake of it, they are not celebs. Both are just women who got done playing volleyball at the beach and now one of them is just looking to relax and say it is the one on the left. Let’s look at how a Pickup Artist would approach her versus a Value-Minded man.

A Pickup Artist would:

• Try to come up with the best opener

• Try to get touchy fast

• Try to neg and push pull and tease her

• Try to number close or get an instant date

• Try to close her

The underlying intent? He is concerned with how he can get her back to his place and close by doing “Game”.

A Value-Minded man would:

• Already have fun things going on in his life that day regardless

• Approach her out of curiosity to get her story

• Immediately ask himself: “How can I make her day or experience better?”

  • Wants to know good restaurant? Here is one

  • Wants to get in at good nightclub? Here is how

  • Wants to know what to do? Here is how

• Ask her what she has going on once he realizes she is in a good mood

• Act accordingly

  • If she is free then take her to the best cafe where he even knows the staff and knows the food is amazing

• If appropriate, even propose that her and her friends join his group for a party if she has to do something

• Get her contact

Notice, he is not obsessed with “closing”. He is not pressing hard for a close. He might not even get the close but he knows he gave her a good experience. He does ask her to get the view of his place if things are going well but if she says no, completely fine.

He is constantly asking himself:

“How can I make her win?”

“How can I make the venue, club, or places I take her to benefit?”

“How can I make sure her friends have a good time?”

Because he knows that if women do not see value in you, most women of quality are not going to be duped or go home with you. If she is not having a good time and enjoying herself in your presence, nothing is happening. Don’t have value? Build that first and then do “Game”.

A common belief is that men peak later than women, usually in their thirties, while women peak earlier. Some even argue that men don’t have a wall at all—that there is no such thing as a “post-wall” man.

There is some truth to this, but it’s not that simple. Men do have a wall—it just works differently. It’s far less about age and more about factors like upbringing, lifestyle, mindset, and physical maintenance.

The Wall and Aging Like Not-So-Fine Wine

The male wall isn’t purely age-based; it’s shaped by how a man’s early life prepares him for adulthood.

While people say men age like fine wine, that’s often overstated. Many men peak early and then decline. For a man to “hit the wall,” he must have had a peak—he was once desired and successful, but that advantage faded over time.

Looking back at college and later life in cities like NYC, a pattern became clear to me.

Men who peaked in college or their early twenties and settled down during that time often ended up living stable, fulfilling lives. Despite the idea that marriage ages men, many of them actually improved over time. Structure and family life suited them.

On the other hand, men who tried to extend their peak years often struggled. Many became frustrated, declined physically, and failed to adapt to new dating environments. Instead of building something new, they kept chasing what had already passed.

These are the men who hit the wall. They were “the man” in college but couldn’t replicate that success later, especially in more competitive environments like major cities. Such environments required a different approach that these men were just not suited for.

The decline shows up both physically and mentally. Early graying, weight gain, and balding become more noticeable, along with a shift in attitude. You hear it in how they talk:

• “Man, I miss college.”

• “Life after college sucks.”

• “Back then, it was so much easier.”

Constant nostalgia and frustration with the present are strong indicators. Even when they eventually marry, it’s often after settling, due to a lack of the skills needed to compete in adult dating environments. In many cases, they took whatever they could get.

You can also see it in their mindset. Many become overly judgmental of bachelor life in big cities, often taking a moral high ground. In many cases, this reflects an inability to compete rather than a genuine preference.

The Reality

Men who peak early tend to share similar traits. They often:

• Come from well-off backgrounds

• Have their needs taken care of growing up

• Live in easy, structured environments

• Become popular and desired at a young age

This creates a key decision point in their early twenties: settle down or continue playing the field. In many cases, settling down is the better choice.

This pattern is similar to what happens with young celebrities—early success can become a disadvantage if it isn’t handled correctly.

Why Some Men Hit the Wall

As boys, life rewards comfort and a strong environment. As men, it rewards resilience and adaptability.

Men who peak early often grow up in conditions that make life easy—financial stability, strong social circles, and minimal adversity. Their experiences—private schools, travel, fraternity life, and ready-made social networks—require little effort to maintain. To make an analogy, in the world of dogs they are like the Golden Retriever puppy from a breeder who was sold to a rich and caring family.

Some recognize this and transition into monogamous adult lives. Others don’t. Those who rely too heavily on early advantages often fail to develop the skills needed later on.

When they enter more competitive environments, they struggle. Social dynamics are different, expectations are higher, and success requires effort rather than circumstance. Without the ability to adapt, they fall behind. It is like a Golden Retriever trying to go out in the wild and compete with Wolves for food.

Repeated rejection, loneliness, and pressure to prove themselves take a toll. Over time, this often leads to frustration, entitlement, and poor habits, which accelerate both physical and mental decline.

In short, they relied on advantages they didn’t build—and couldn’t sustain them.

The truth about men who peak after 30

Men who peak in their thirties often had more difficult upbringings. Because of that, they were forced to develop resilience, independence, and social skills through effort. It was not out of hobby but rather necessity.

Nothing came easily, so they learned to build value over time. Rejection wasn’t new to them—it was something they had already dealt with. Adversity was already a second language to them due to their youth.

If you were to ask me what kind of a man peaks in his 30s, I would tell you he’s a Wolf out of necessity. His youth was just difficult or traumatic enough for him to develop survival skills. For a guy like that, going up to beautiful women at a bar and eating a rejection countless times is nothing.

Meanwhile, the guy with an easy upbringing would get shattered by something like that. You mask why don’t men with difficult lives hit the wall at a young age? To that, I would say it’s because they don’t have that privilege. For such men, it’s not a matter of hitting the wall if they make bad decisions, it’s a matter of hitting the morgue.

However, I’d say even older men who are at their peak should be careful. The reality is, as much as we hate to admit it as men, we do have a wall. After a certain age, even the grittiest and most resilient of men can no longer play the field. The way I like to put it is that even the most powerful of Alpha Male Wolves gets claimed by the wild at some point.

When I first started, I went out with friends for the purpose of just “partying” like many other guys do. However, after 2020 or so, I went out with the purpose of improving my social skills with attractive women at bars and nightclubs. In those years, I have learned six unique lessons that I believe only experience can teach you.

The reality about “nightgame”.

In reality, going out to meet women at night at bars and nightclubs is one of the toughest forms of “Game” out there. You are dealing with so many hazards and so many inconvenient situations that a lot of guys quit. Nightlife tends to bring out the worst in people as well so this is also when you will run into your worst rejections. When it is not done right, it is one of the most miserable forms of social interactions out there.

Even compared to the dating apps, getting women above your league is difficult in nightlife if you do it poorly. If you do it like most men do it, you will only be dumpster diving. I have seen it myself many times. Most men either leave empty handed and frustrated mixed with intense anger from all the alcohol. The number of men who do “score” are getting with women they would not brag about getting with.

However, the good news is that when you do it right, nightlife can be strongly in your favor. Not only will you get with better looking women but you will also ensure that these women enjoy being with you and you enjoy your night out. I have a pleasant time going out at night now rather than seeing it as a chore. In all of these years, here are the six lessons I have learned.

1 - Know the vibe of the city and its nightlife before applying any advice.

This is also a great time to mention logistics, you want places close to you and you want to live where the action is. If it is more than a 10 minute walk, get an Uber. If it is more than a 10 minute Uber, you’re in a tough spot. Now for the vibe.

In some cities, the nightlife is exclusive and runs on high-end venues. These are your only realistic chances of meeting women that look good.

In some cities, the nightlife is more open and high-end venues are rare.

In some cities, nightlife runs on messy nightclubs that attract hordes of seedy and degenerate characters so you are best off finding an after hours spot.

The fun and your job is to figure out what works for what city. This is also why guys who can run popular promoter Game in an LA or Miami might struggle in a city like NYC where women aren’t into that vibe. I tend to see it as a fun competition where a strategy that might work against one team will not work against another. Logistics are also big, the closer to your place, the better.

I might do an in-depth guide on general strategies depending on the vibe of the city depending on how this post performs. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• In heavily populated World Class cities like NYC and London, you can do a high volume of approaches and get lucky

• In cities like LA and Miami, your best bet is to make some connections at high-end venues

• In vacation spots like Vegas, your best bet become tourists who are looking to have fun

• In tier 2 cities where there aren’t any high-end venues, you can play the role of exotic tourist to locals

• In somewhat smaller cities where the nightlife scene has a lot of regular faces, find groups you can just be good friends with and go out with a social vibe (you do not want to be that dude spamming a ton of women)

Again, these are all generalities and depending on how this post is received, I might do further breakdowns.

2 - You have to go out with the intention of meeting women.

A number of people give the poor advice that you should just “go out and have a fun time and the hot girls will come”. In reality, I have been that guy. When I was in my early-twenties, I enjoyed going out with the boys to have a few drinks and maybe even enjoy some trendy music or a sports match. Yeah, those were “fun” times and we had a lot of cool banter but the reality is, I almost never got any women.

I have seen it countless times where guys are drunk, jovial, and having a good time but get no women. In many cases, they are genuinely good guys who a girl would be lucky to have in her life but they are in fun mode. The unfortunate truth is that just going out to party and have fun does not get you hot girls. In reality, you have to go out with the intention of meeting attractive women in order to get attractive women.

In some cases, I have nights where I do feel like going out with my friends and having a few (actually quite a few) beers and drinks. Those nights are still fun, wholesome, and lift my mood. I still do not meet any women worth knowing in those nights. The reality is that your focus is all on having a good time with your friends and you are not in the mode of meeting women.

Doing it for many years, I find that when I go out with friends and my circle, I am there to be with my friends and my circle. I am not there to meet anyone else. This leads to me just having a great time with my friends and that drive to meet a beautiful woman is not there. The idea of “just going out to have fun”, if your intent is to meet women, is a misleading one.

3 - Binge drinking is fun but it will wreck you.

Even when I was in my early twenties, I felt it. Look, binge drinking is fun to do with your friends, especially if you are young. However, you realize that if you do it for years, it is a great way to wreck your liver, your life, your health, and your future. My friends who did this regularly and didn’t stop are now chronic alcoholics who have had a tough time with employment.

I am not telling you to go completely sober. For what its worth, I find that the “I have been sober X years” people are some of the most insufferable kinds of people I have ever met. A lot of them relapse when life comes at them and are just performative in what they preach. They brag about being sober because they cannot control themselves around alcohol.

However, too much drinking will also ruin your Game. You will come off as weird and uncalibrated around women. I find that it is best to max out at 3 to 4 drinks and space them out throughout the night. A little buzz can help you out a lot. If you find drinking fun like I do, celebrate a night out after a big event but don’t make it a habit to binge drink.

4 - Self-care throughout the week is huge for momentum.

In the weeks when I have hit the gym regularly, slept well, eaten healthy, and had enough sleep before going out at night; I’ve performed well. My energy levels were on point and I was able to have a lot of success. I was sharp and that led to a lot of success. In the weeks when I was hungover from the night before, going out was a chore. Even heading out seemed like a tough task.

5 - Getting out there early beats getting out there late.

In my best nights, I was out early. You want to aim for around 10 to 10:30 PM at the latest. If you can get out there even earlier, that’s better. This beats “pre-gaming” with the boys until midnight and then going out right after the night has had its peak. You go out drunk and women are already in a bad mood from being lazily approached so much.

Ideally, you get out there early and you will find that women are in a far better mood. The night is young and women are often more sociable, this means approaching is welcomed. Compare this to going out at midnight where women who live a productive life are just waiting to get home after a number of drunk guys have creeped them out. At this point you are relying on dumb luck.

Some “coaches” do claim that you can just spam approach a lot of girls or talk to them as they wait for their ride after midnight. However, this is just gambling and playing the odds. To me, women are also quite drunk around this time and I am not taking home a girl who is visibly intoxicated. In my opinion, after 1 in the morning, the night is over and you are better off getting some good sleep and living for another night.

6 - Higher volume does not mean more opportunity.

A commonly held notion in the Pickup and “Game” community is that you go to venues with more volume and that way, you have more opportunities. The logic is more people means more women which means more opportunity. You simply approach until a girl says yes. While this sounds good on paper, it fails on application.

Many times, “high volume” venues are quite hectic. Women are in a bad place mentally in these places and prefer to stay close to their groups. Add in deafening music playing and you get a lot of irritated women or those who rather enjoy the music than be approached. A lot of this leads to a disaster and just nights out with a high volume of interaction.

Instead, you want venues that have enough volume but are not too hectic. What this allows for is time to have a conversation and truly connect with a woman. In most cases, it is tough to get a woman to come home with you unless you have really connected with her. This takes at least 30 minutes in a lot of cases, anything below that and she was already into you from the start.

I will extend this to the number of approaches too. My worst nights, I have done close to 30 approaches and all I had to show were rude rejections. I also find that guys who do a ton of approaches are either drunk, unsuccessful “Pick Up” Artists, or just lack Game and are relying on dumb luck. In my best nights, I never did more than 5 to 10 approaches. Instead, I had 3 to 4 interactions that lasted at least 20 to 30 minutes and one ended up in a close.

7 - ALWAYS move the interaction forward.

If you are not moving an interaction forward, you are moving it backwards. If a woman is interested in you and you sense attraction there, ask her to come back to your place for a nice drink or a nice view. Do not rob her of a bad time. Women will never forgive you for not rewarding their interest. This is where most guys fail, they will just blabber on at the venue when a girl clearly wants to go home with them.

What happens when you move the interaction forward is that women who like you reward you and women who are just teasing will move on. You want the women who are not interested to move on. This way, you do not waste their time. I also want to reiterate, do not be like the average “Pickup Artist” and persist when she has said that she is not interested.

8 - Make friends with the staff at high-end or even busy venues.

In my opinion, nightlife starts when the staff at high-end and tough venues become your friends. When you have this, you have unlocked a new level of nightlife. You can cut long lines at tough doors with ease. You almost play the game with cheat codes when you do this right.

You can approach women who are out and about and give them the VIP treatment without paying a cent. You elevate your status and women view you as that guy. This is not even being a promoter at some crappy club, you get an “In” at the exclusive places. However, this does differ city by city.

In some cities, there are no “high end” venues. You just have bars and women at these bars. Even then, it helps to be friends with the staff there as you may need them if situations ever get shaky. Plus, it elevates your value when women see that the people who work at the venue are nice to you.

Even in venues that are bad for meeting women, being friends with the staff helps. The few women that are there will notice that the bartender is shaking your hand and socializing with you and get curious about you. Staff who are not busy can also be great wingmen. In some cases, the staff will know what the best spots in town are.

9 - Other men are rarely, if ever, your friends.

Other guys who are out and about at night are neutral at best, a nuisance in most cases, or a serious hindrance in some. I have long seen amateur and newbie guys high five some drunk dudes, drink with them, and spend a lot of that time socializing. Then, as these guys find the courage to approach women, they will find that this male group is getting in their way. In some cases, these guys will even approach the women you are talking to and box you out. With them knowing your name and other details about you, women will believe that you know them.

Assume that a group of guys who are talking to you, especially if drunk, rarely have good intent in mind. The chances of you running into some magical Wingman who will help you get the girl of your dreams is rare. If we go by probability, I would put it below 20%. In terms of the game of odds, I’d say they are not in your favor.

In a lot of cases, you start to find that most guys who are going out without girls get rejected from desirable clubs and bars for a reason. A lot of these guys are on the hunt and willing to step on whoever they need to in order to get the girl. A number of these guys will even get on drunk girls and vulnerable women in order to score. The venues see this from a mile away and reject them, you should too.

Don’t try to help a bro out, they wouldn’t help you out. My mentality towards other men, especially if in a group, is that they are the opposition or a nuisance until proven otherwise. However, there are exceptions to this rule I will list below:

• Guys who work at the venue - Obviously you make friends with them

• Gay guys who are not aggressive, flamboyant, or flirty with you - They are great at socializing and some can socialize well with hot girls

• Guys bringing hot girls - Be nice to us, we are used to other men not even acknowledging us as they talk to the girls with us who ignore them

For every other guy, my policy is polite but short. A half smile, minimal interaction, and pretend like you are busy. Do not engage in any serious conversation with them. If they are drunk, they can ruin your image and your perception in the eyes of staff.

10 - Enjoy it, while you can, and offer value.

In reality, nightlife is meant to be enjoyed. For all I know, some of you prefer to just drink with the boys and can’t be bothered to talk to girls or take any woman home. I am all for it if you are having a good time. Some are like me and find it fun to talk to beautiful women and show them a fun time.

All I can say is enjoy it while you can. At some point, you are going to get visibly old and won’t be able to enjoy it like you can now. So go out, have fun, and make the night fun for the right people. Who knows how the world will look a decade from now.

Think about a decade ago, we were four years away from 2020. Then 2020 hit and the world shut down, as did nightlife. Many people complain about how nightlife has fallen so far from then but these people were complaining in 2020 too. So go out (or don’t you hermit), be grateful, and have a fun time.

Conclusion.

I know I won’t be doing nightlife forever. I give it a few more years before I opt for a more peaceful life. A lot of these days, I feel the hangovers even though the nights are fun. However, while I am still doing it, it’s great to share with you readers.

I get asked this a number of times from a lot of men and women out there, even family I am on good terms with, as someone who is entering his 30s. Does:

• Going on a lot of dates

• Sleeping around

• Not being married with kids

• Living the Bachelor life

Ever get old? By Bachelor life, I do mean being a f*ckboy that does not commit. I have heard people say that it is an empty and meaningless existence. You are not “leaving behind a legacy” in the form of children. You are not “growing up” and “starting a family”. I wanted to offer another perspective of all of this.

Who it becomes empty and meaningless for.

As a lot of you know, a lot of “Players” are out there faking it. A common character I will get to in this are Pickup Artists and men in the Game community. Their path is eerily like below:

• Do hundreds if not thousands of “approaches” to “take action bro”

• Occasionally get with a Mid

• Have empty and meaningless sex with a few average looking women

• Have little to show for it

• Talk about how “you are over that hookup lifestyle”

I am being generous here, most men claiming the “hookup” lifestyle don’t even claim that. It is also important to note the quality of women they are getting, these are not good looking women at all. For men like this, the Bachelor life becomes empty and meaningless quite fast. Because in all of this:

• They did not get quality women

• They did not make the lives of these quality women better

• They did nothing outside of “close” and have sex

In reality, the men who are actually getting quality women with some consistency and living that life are living a life completely different to your average bachelor.

For these men, it does not really get old.

Right now, I want to say that I am interning as one of these men but haven’t been granted the role yet. I say interning because I have had appetizers of success that men who did this right have had the full course meal of. Every year, I get closer and closer to this kind of success. Every year is a better experience than the last. I have also had extensive conversations with men who are already there.

For those who are doing the Bachelor life right, it actually does not get old and there are many reasons for it. Before I highlight those reasons, do note where I stand on even the best of Bachelorhood. I think that marriage and monogamy, in the rare times it is done right, is the apex of manhood. However, when Bachelorhood is done right, it is one heck of a consolation prize.

So you have read about how doing the Bachelor life looks like and what it entails, but I didn’t share how you actually grow from it once you do it right. Sure, the sex with a lot of good looking women is great and can sustain men for a while but it’s about more than that. In reality, the Bachelor life when done right expands beyond just sex and sleeping with women.

It expands to:

• Actually forming friendships and open relationships with women

• Helping throw quality events and introduce women to a better lifestyle

• Help form quality friendships with men who are doing well in life

• Grow and learn more about human nature every day at a high level because you are seeing the true elite of society

• Learning about humanity and how to conduct yourself as people judge you for your lifestyle

• Learning how to offer value to women and quality men

• Learning new things about yourself

• Having new life experiences that the average man can only dream of

Getting to a point where you can consistently sleep with and get beautiful women is not the end-game, it’s really just the start.

Sure, you might have sex with a woman that looks good, but that’s really just the start. Getting to a point where you can regularly get with attractive women and get them to come to your parties, hang out with you, and invest in you outside of sex is where the real fun begins. Very few men get to this level.

In fact, I remember talking to my friend Bowtied Passport a while back and he said something that sticks with me to this day about a situation, it went something like this:

He commented on the Pickup phenomenon. These “Game” guys who supposedly do thousands of approaches and occasionally get laid cannot form any relationship with women outside of that. If you were to ask them to bring a girl to your party, they could not do it. To them, getting laid was the end game when it should have actually been the start.

The guys winning with dating and bachelorhood in their 30s are not living for lays, they are living for experiences. Every woman is an experience to them and they an experience to her. They make that experience as enjoyable as possible and are memorable. Women don’t just sleep with them, they are willing to go above and beyond for them.

In reality, you are leveraging your skills with women to:

• Get into high-end places that would normally be closed off to you

• Make friendships with high value and quality men as you help them meet quality women

• Help improve the lives of the women you meet by introducing them to a better and more fun lifestyle

• Work on yourself mentally and grow every year rather than staying the same and settling since you are a father with responsibilities

• Learn how to read social situations at an advanced level since you see how beautiful women change the room and vibe

• Earn new life experiences that the average guy will never have access to

But note, this is just as it involves women. You are also usually enjoying Bachelorhood to:

• Travel to new places alone

• Try new hobbies alone

• See the reactions of the self-righteously married who secretly envy you

• Develop and grow yourself now that you do not have any responsibilities

• Grow your social network

• Develop fun friendships and do fun things with your friends

• Find your higher purpose in life and your calling so you leave your mark on this world

Once we get outside of dating, Bachelorhood is anything but empty and meaningless. The main point of this all is that you are working towards something. At that point, you don’t need company or have that desperation to be in a relationship. You are at peace with yourself because there is something you are always working on.

It’s really the experiences and the stories.

One of the main things about Bachelorhood when its at its peak is the kinds of stories you get to see unfold. Every weekend and if you retire early, every day and night out, is a fun story waiting to unfold. It’s like your life is a movie and you yourself are watching anticipating the next plot twist. For example:

• The times you see these “happily married men” come into your city and cheat on their wives

• The times you see a “proud Christian mom” flirt and get with some random guy outside of marriage

• The times you roll up to a venue with a few hot girls by your arms

• That crazy rooftop party you and your friends had with some beautiful women

• The crazy time on a yacht where one of your friends posted a story of you all with some beautiful women and the women in your life started raging on social media

• The time you, your friend, and a few hot girls you are all seeing decided to hop to a random weekend vacation

• The time your crazy bachelor friend got a beautiful woman to record a porn vid with him and put it up on a porn site

This is the tip of the iceberg but for those pulling it off right, Bachelorhood is an enjoyable experience and story. It’s not an existence, it is an experience. It is an experience and story that teaches you lessons that very few life experiences can, when done right. However, most men don’t do it right so it is empty and meaningless.

But what about the deeper meaning in life?

The one place I think this lifestyle shines is in that very place itself. You see human nature at such a depth and you see through the motives of people in such an efficient way when you live this life right. The reason is because in order for you to even live this life successfully, you have to have such an advanced understanding of people at their depths. You have to understand people and what moves them in a way very few men can.

At the same time, you come to terms with yourself. You see your shadow self in the mirror and are forced to work on it. You have to handle your ego and maintain it once a woman rejects you at a bar or once you have eaten a lot of rejections. The growth you see as a man once you actually get better with women is the kind of growth very few men will ever experience.

If this lifestyle has not changed you as a man, you did it wrong. You come out on the other side with such a deep knowledge of people and what moves them that you cannot be a hateful judgmental person. In fact, you start to understand why people and society is how it is at its roots. You start to realize why these hateful judgmental people you see online are how they are.

Your understanding of why people act how they do is at a level that very few men will understand. You see this because your life experiences that this lifestyle has granted have given you a view into how people actually act. In fact, you see how the “Good Girl” in public is such a freak in the sheets. You see how your self-righteous friend acts when you put him on a boat with hot girls.

For example, to the common man, the “Proud Father” flexing his family life on Twitter and berating bachelorhood is a “Proud Father”. Maybe he just thinks Bachelors are below him. Maybe he is big on his morality. To someone as advanced as you in the understanding of human nature, he is anything but.

You understand men like him because you have seen men like him in action. You have seen the morally self-righteous men who flex family but:

• Use work trips to cheat on their spouses

• Are out on their trip to another city on the prowl for younger women

• Looking around angrily when you walk in with beautiful women on your arms

• Trying to make friends with you to have access to the beautiful women in your life

You see this man as the poser and insecure man he is. You see him in a way that most others cannot because you have seen men like him in action. You have seen how the self-righteous act when temptation is around. It’s one thing to theorize, something else to truly witness.

When done right, this lifestyle is such an advanced course on human nature. It offers you the reality of people and humanity when temptation and luxury are on the line. It gives you a chance to ascend past that. It actually coaches you into being a better person because you are so true to yourself and your purpose.

Let’s face it, this lifestyle is gaslighted. The people gaslighting it hate that a man can be at peace with himself without a wife and kids. This lifestyle forces you to be secure and sure of your life choice. It is such a deep journey into finding your actual self that a man can experience in today’s society.

Past all of the sex, experiences, life stories, and fun times is a raw and unfiltered lesson on human nature very few get to learn. Past all of this is a chance to actually be a better person rather than just putting “Christ Is King” on your Twitter Bio. You are forced to be non-judgmental because you have been so judged. It’s a lifestyle that will strip your mask and character off and reveal the true version of you.

If the true version of you is not that guy, this lifestyle will close its doors to you.

“Grow up! Why are you still hooking up? That’s for 21 y/os”

“Imagine not leaving a legacy behind! What a loser! Get married and have kids already”

“Wow what a degenerate, sleeping around with random women, find God!”

It wasn’t always like this.

When I followed the Manosphere and Red Pill, or really any male space a decade ago, Bachelorhood was celebrated. It was “spinning plates” and sleeping around with random women because you dodged the married life. You had memes bragging about how a man is free because he avoided marriage. It was a different world then where bachelor after 30 was “you made it, now life begins, have fun!”.

Then, I would say around the late 2010s and especially as the 2020s started, it slowly started to change. When Trump was running for president the second time around, this movement sprung up in the Manosphere for men to “get married and have kids so you can save the West” and “disavow the degenerate hookup lifestyle!”.

A lot of this also coincided with a lot of the figureheads of Game running into issues:

• RSD got cancelled because Julien made a fool out of himself and had to revert to marketing and self-help

• Roosh V went from International Playboy to finding God after being a target of mainstream media

• A number of Pickup Artists and dating coaches got cancelled

• A number of Manosphere guys went into politics because it was more lucrative

• Manosphere politics converged with the Christian Right who wanted to lead men

We can say it is because of morals but I doubt that, in fact, I think the real reason is far more practical.

Having consistent success with above average looking women is TOUGH!

Having done a lot of tough things in my life (I have lived a rough life to say the least), I’d say the toughest has been getting above average looking women to go on dates with me and sleep with me with some degree of consistency as well as enjoy the experience. I’ve know a number of guys who tried, the vast majority burned out. What I learned is that it takes:

• Great sacrifice

• Being in decent shape

• Dressing well

• Living in a city with a lot of beautiful women

• Having your finances right to where you can afford such a life

• Being bold enough to approach beautiful women

• Eating rejections (some of them brutal)

• Having your ego destroyed so you can grow (most men will never do this)

• Dealing with flakes and other behavior

• Coming off as a cool guy she would want to hookup with

It takes even more than that but for a while, Pickup Artists were able to tell us stories of their homeless friend that sleeps with models. Most men brag about living this life but they never even get close to it. In fact, I will admit that while I have had my forays into it, not even I have been able to do it consistently. Very few men I know have. I have seen the chase for this lifestyle break the egos and pride of some of the strongest men out there.

Let me put it to you this way, the vast majority of men out there are not consistently sleeping with the best looking women out there. In fact, they are not even consistently sleeping with decent looking women out there. Do not let any guy gaslight you, doing this consistently is one of the toughest things you will do as a man. In fact, when most guys say they used to be a “Player”, it’s not what you think it means.

“Yeah I had my hookup phase bro but it gets old”

When most guys say this, we think they mean that they were Hugh Hefner in his prime. In reality, the vast majority of the time, their “hookup phase” consisted of:

• An occasional makeout with a drunk girl at a bar

• Maybe taking a girl home once every few months

• Going on a date - Even if that date went poorly

• Dancing with a girl at a club

• Sleeping with women who were just flat out hideous in the looks department

I am not joking when I say that your average man thinks this is what “hooking up” means. Except for the last bullet, which is nothing to be proud of, none of the above are true. Sure bro, you were “the man in college” because you made out with a drunk girl at a bar. For the vast majority of men, this is their “hookup” phase. Notice, none of it involves having a date with a decent looking woman every week and having that date go really well.

This also includes Pickup Artists, Manosphere guys, and dating coaches.

In fact, the same “Red Pill” guys who are telling you to avoid Single Moms also end up dating and marrying them. For a while, they could keep this hidden when they were on internet forums and anonymous. As they came out more to the public via Youtube and Social Media, this detail of their lives got leaked. Same can be said of most Pickup Artists and “dating coaches”, they are not getting laid.

I speak from experience when I say this as someone who has seen these guys in action for years. Just recently, I had a great interaction with these two beautiful blondes and I saw the assistant of a famous Miami Pickup Artist when out at a venue. The guy would “wing” me but creep one of the blondes out so bad that she immediately got up and left, she was legitimately creeped out. This is the same guy who is giving guys Game advice.

Overtime, the veil started to be lifted. Story after story came out about a lot of the heads of the Game community and Manosphere being outright frauds. Whether it was paying escorts to see them and showing that as a receipt or having a legitimate Sugar Baby. Slowly and surely, the veil started to get lifted.

I even saw it on Game Groups I was a part of, guys were more than happy to talk theory, politics, and argue but when it came time to put up or shut up? They change topics. In fact, a common diversion tactic was “man hooking up is overrated, there is way more to life than this”. Keep that phrase in mind, we will get to it shortly.

When I said we were accepting new members, we got a lot of people reaching out. When I told them to answer a few questions, very few followed through. We had people reach out to want to get better but most quit within a month. They don’t want to go out and actually talk to women, it’s tough. We found that they were better off in other Game Chats where they can talk politics all day and whine about society and sound smart.

So, an adjustment was needed.

The Manosphere guys and so many other male voices were in a predicament. When Red Pill coaches got exposed for marrying single moms and Pickup Artists exposed for not actually being good with women, something had to happen. A lot of these male voices went into survival mode. So they did something that women actually did decades and I will get to soon.

They took the moral high ground.

When a lot of men realized just how tough it is to actually be good with women and get the beautiful ones consistently, they had to divert. Their calling become the moral high ground. They started to parade as morally superior to those “Playboys” and “F*ckboys” that were having success. In fact, you can even call it Sour Grapes. Once that happened, you started seeing the Trad movement take off on social media.

• Good Christian

• Devout Muslim

• “Proud Father of 2”

• “Proud Husband and Father”

You saw this advertised on the profiles of men all across social media. However, it is not the advertising of this that I am criticizing. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being religious or being a proud father and husband. However, it is the behavior of those who are living this life that draws my critcism. The poster child for this behavior is none other than Akaash Singh.

When a “proud father” is spending his time criticizing what Clavicular or MHG are doing as bachelors with beautiful women, a few things come to my mind:

• Why is he watching videos on social media of the hedonist life?

• Why is he rating the appearance of young women in that women?

• Why is he taking time out of his day to criticize and rant about what some Bachelor is doing?

• Why is he investing so much energy into hating and criticizing a lifestyle different than his given how much time, energy, and commitment children require?

• Why is he not leading by example for the sake of his kids?

• Why is he not setting a better example of his own Dad life and advertising that to influence young men to follow in that path than the path of hedonism?

Even if such a man has downtime, he could use that for so many more productive and fruitful things than berating a lifestyle different than his. What also gets is that the Bachelors are never out there attacking the lifestyle of these men but these very men are going out of their way to attack the lifestyle of Bachelors. In fact, someone as young as Clavicular (20) who is partying with hot blondes is doing what any rich college guy with status would do but it works up such investment on social media from these men. It is what I like to call “cracks in morality”.

Overall, what you have done so far is move the goal posts. If you cannot win on proving that you get beautiful women, you win on “morality”. You might not score like Hefner did in his prime but hey, you are a “Good Father” so clearly a better person than him right? Once again, it is done so modern men can ease their egos and cope.

In a way, this is to men what fat acceptance and body positivity were to women. Women who could not win on the beauty standard tried to change the goal post. If you did not like an overweight woman the same way you like a model, you were morally bankrupt as a man. What modern men are doing is the same.

In fact, anytime someone attacks your morality or tells you to “grow up”, they have effectively lost. You just need to see how many immature dads are out there to see that parenthood does not equal maturity. It’s just that they cannot compete so they hide behind morals. They need to move the goal post to live with themselves.

Men also collectively got weaker, just not the kinds of men you would have expected.

The so called “masculine” and “macho” men who talked tough got collectively weaker. The Manosphere lost its spine over the years. Paper Tigers that talked tough but need marriage and kids to even feel at ease. These men could no longer stand to be around themselves so they had to project that insecurity to another person, likely a poor woman or a helpless child.

We did witness a feminization of men as some would say, it just happened to the very men we would have least expected. As much as we want to criticize Liberal men or even Gay men, they are not out there desperate for a wife or desperate to berate the lifestyle of a Bachelor. They are not seeing their cortisol spike because a Bachelor slept around with a beautiful woman.

It is almost a textbook case of never judging a book by its cover.

I have decided that it makes sense to grow the chat because lately, we have had some quality members come through. One member who joined has helped other members out with their photography for online dating and has even given me great advice. Another member has provided quality nightlife advice that actually got me laid this past week with one of the hottest women I have ever been with.

Here is why we are accepting new members and have somewhat relaxed the admission for now:

• The recent members who joined have added immense value

• We have had to kick a number of members for inactivity so we have gone from 40 to 19 members

• We have eliminated a section of the chat that had members post pics of themselves for fashion and style advice since it was too risky

  • This is actually the main reason we had to be so strict since admitting the wrong person can be trouble

Why it was even started.

Degen Diaries was started because most Game communities and Chats had become far too negative. They rewarded whiners and guys who criticized others but never the guys who were out there putting in the work. I found that they were not good environments to improve with women. On top of this, the leaders were just guys who played politics well, not guys who were good with women or trying to be better with them.

I also feel like there were no longer communities and chats dedicated to help men get laid. They had turned into weird political mumbo jumbo or Incel whiney garbage. Even talking about picking up women was met with a “get a wife bro” or “stop contributing to the decline of Western civilization by hooking up with randoms”. You just have to go on Twitter to see how bad it has become.

After finding that my field reports were met with negative comments like “why even try bro” or “you seem to be putting a lot of work into this”, I decided to start Degen Diaries. It’s been about 3 years since it has been around and since then, we have:

• Had a member have a threesome on his trip to Finland (he has since moved on from the chat)

• Had a member go from engineer to unemployed to now photographing beautiful models

• Had member get laid 4 times in his one week trip to Mexico City and post some spicy videos

• Had a member from Prague post his successes

• Had a member buy Meta Glasses and have videos of his dates he posted

• Had a member uproot his life in the UK and move to Austria and then to Stockholm where he is now going to the Soho House there

Many more success stories have come and I have become better. Members like Tommy have worked with me to help me improve with nightgame. It’s been one of, if not, the best communities I have been a part of. The main reason is despite being the owner, the members have taught me so much.

What we are looking for.

Degen Diaries is a community dedicated to helping men get laid, plain and simple.

Overall, we are looking for guys who fit either of the two categories:

• Help make the community better with their knowledge of Game, Style, Social Media, and Online dating which can help the overall chat

• A hunger to succeed and improve with dating and meeting women

The one primary thing we want are guys who are going to post multiple times a week, ideally every day but we know life gets in the way so that can be realistic. We don’t want guys who will just abandon and ghost after joining.

We also want non-judgmental men since this is a place where men share their successes with women. Interracial hookups are quite common as some of our best members are Black and Asian. We also have a buff White guy who specializes in Latinas. No negativity or any of that.

Requirements.

Overall, we are looking for guys who are doers (pun kinda intended). We don’t have space for guys who are still figuring it out but not taking any action. We want guys who are getting out there and putting in the work.

• Be over the age of 18

• Be in a country or society where going out and talking to women is doable - Hard for us to admit anyone who is in a society where Game is not even legal

• Be actively going out and interacting with women every weekend (aka cold approach) OR actively going on dates because of a top tier IG or top tier online dating profile

• Must be an active poster

  • People who don’t post for over a couple of weeks get kicked

This a community of Doers. We don’t have time to admit someone who is “thinking of moving to a big city and then doing Game”, we want someone who is actually doing so.

Rules.

• New members must post field reports (your actual interactions with women) every weekend

• No negativity

• All feedback for other members must be constructive

• No bashing or gaslighting members for their preference in women

• No racism or hatred

• Everything in the chat stays in the chat - Don’t share info about other members

• No politics

• This is a community dedicated solely to hooking up so no talks of marriage or dissing that Playboy lifestyle

• Don’t be a dick

• Don’t do illegal stuff

• Age of consent is over 18 although we prefer over 21

How to join:

Contact me on Telegram (@I_LoveBunnies) and be able to answer the following questions:

1. Country you are in

2. Age range (do not have to give specific age here, something like “late 20s” will do)

3. Why you want to join

4. How you are mostly meeting women

5. How often you go out and Game or go on dates

6. What value you think you are going to bring to the chat

Potential origins.

While many figures can be linked to the origins of the Manosphere, the main one that comes up is Roosh V. Roosh was a Pickup Artist who was infamous for berating American women and his Forum became a place where men can discuss best spots to travel to for meeting women. Think of it as Passport Broing before it was even a thing. A lot of what we see today originally came from Roosh and his community.

Over the years, Roosh would go from berating American women to having a more aggressive stance when he launched Return Of Kings. The site would generate a lot of controversial articles as Roosh went at his potential opponents. You had meetups in cities like Toronto and Montreal that were crashed. He would also appear on the Dr. Oz show and many others.

The Roosh V Forum is where the Manosphere first got regularly brought up. In conjunction with it, you had the Pickup Artist movement as well as PUAHate. PUAHate would be the origins of where you got the Black Pill Looksmaxxing movement which has given birth to Clavicular. The 2010s would be dominated by these movements which would make way for influencers.

One other place that cannot be ignored is the Red Pill movement and the Red Pill subreddit. Rollo Tomassi, also known as The Rational Male, was one of its biggest figureheads.

All of these would converge as a countermovement to feminism.

What it used to be.

In reality, the Manosphere had a few segments to it and some segments may as well not be considered a part of it if you asked the people in them:

• Pickup Artist/PUA = Help men confidently approach women they do not know

• Roosh V/ROK = Help men get the lowdown on the best countries to meet more feminine women and push back against radical feminism

• PUAHate = Origins of the Black Pill movement where Incels posted miserable things

• Red Pill = Helped men find their path in a world it felt was unfair to them and give them the reality about gender relations

• Forum Bodybuilding = Loosely connected to it, place where men talked about fitness but also said a ton of racist and misogynistic things

What unfolded.

As the 2010s unfolded, a number of things happened that would disrupt and cause chaos in these movements. I will talk more about these things on a future date, especially the Looksmaxxing community, but for now, here is what would unfold.

• Roosh went through a rough patch and turned to religion

• The PUA movement died out when RSD Nation went viral for all the wrong reasons with Julien apologizing on CNN

• PUAHate shut down when Elliot Rodger shot up a school

• The Red Pill Reddit got shut down

• Forum Bodybuilding shut down

The latter half of the 2010s were a period of mass chaos as original Manosphere communities closed. I want to say that it caused a power vacuum of sorts. As a result of this power vacuum, the opportunistic saw a path to rising. We saw Fresh & Fit, Andrew Tate, JWaller, Sneako, Zherka, HSTikkytokky, and now Clavicular rise as a result.

These men would become the new face of the Manosphere and be worshipped by men all over. What is somewhat strange is that all of these men to some degree had a past segment of the Manosphere they now represented.

Andrew Tate and Fresh & Fit were taking the place of The Red Pill and what Roosh started.

Clavicular became the head of the Looksmaxxing and Black Pill movement.

The Pickup Artist movement largely died out.

Instead of being about sub-movements and communities, the Manosphere became more about following a particular influencer and joining their community or Livestream. While some forums like Looksmaxx are still around, they are no longer the focus they used to be.

An observation of the current leaders.

One thing I have to comment on is that the faces of the Manosphere, for all of their flaws, were rather good looking. A lot of these guys are in great shape and take care of their bodies. You no longer get the out of shape or skinnyfat PUAs that you used to get back in the day. Almost all of these guys who are in the Manosphere seem to be in great shape.

I think it is important to note this because of the type of content produced. We have moved on from blogs and posting on the internet to now being more on Streams. For this reason, I am finding that the newer generation of Manosphere influencers tend to be in great shape.

We are at a point where it is hard to fake it. Gone are the days of hiding behind a blog while your dating life sucks and having a controversial opinion. Those sorts of guys cannot last in this environment where things move quickly. They will just get ignored.

The shock value.

While original Manosphere movements were about the quality of the content be it long blog posts or long articles, the current movement has shifted to shock value. This means Streams and viral videos. It has shifted to saying the most controversial things, which is how Andrew Tate became so famous. As a result, we are seeing the most radical voices of it rise.

The push into mainstream.

Eventually, the Manosphere, due to its popular figures, could no longer be contained. It went mainstream and as a result, the figures in it were influential enough to influence elections. Some say the Manosphere can be linked to Trump winning in 2024. All the while, you are having politicians who run for Governor joining up with Manosphere influencers.

Ever since 2020, we have been at a point where the Manosphere has become inevitable. In every online conversation, the Manosphere is involved. The countermovement to feminism and the Woke movement has barked out loudly. In my view, one way or another, it is here to stay.

What’s next?

I think that we have come to the point of Manosphere fatigue. This is not because we think men shouldn’t have a voice but rather that the voices of representing men are often sad. Whether it is Fresh & Fit constantly crashing out or guys saying the most insane stuff for views, people are getting tired. Clavicular is somewhat different as a newcomer since his content is actually going out and talking to women.

What I see happening is that men will collectively realize that the Manosphere can no longer be avoided. Even if you sit on the sidelines and ignore it, the men in your space are going to be consuming the content. This means that more men who are doing well in life are going to want to have a say.

Practicing what you preach.

I think that in the future, a movement will come to replace the Manosphere and the barrier to entry to be its voice will be higher. No longer can you be some guy who got viral off of videos and flashed a life or anything. Instead, you are going to have successful, good looking, and charismatic guys enter the movement and showcase their life.

A good predictor, even though he is aligned with a lot of the other Manosphere creators, is Clavicular. You may notice that so much of his content is now involving going out and talking to girls. I think you are going to have more of this from guys because it creates trust. The need to prove and to put up or shut up is going to dominate.

The old Manosphere heads who are just on Podcasts talking theory are going to be on their way out. Meanwhile, the future is going to be dominated by those that are out there doing. Clavicular is a great example of this but I see more figures like him going out and living the life and that is who the crowds are going to gravitate towards.

I also think that the bitterness is going to subside as overtime, it is tough to be so bitter when you are actually getting a lot of female attention.

Who are some possibilities?

One guy I see potentially shaking things up is MurrayHillGuy on Twitter. I can see him getting even bigger throughout the year and becoming a prominent figure.

However, don’t be too shocked if some guy in his 30s decided to share more about his life and becomes famous this year ;)

Even compared to online, nightlife is one of the most unforgiving avenues for meeting women. As a single straight man, you have the lowest value out of anyone in that environment. Clubs and bars do not see you as anything other than someone spending money on booze. All the while, you get treated poorly by staff, women, and even other drunk guys who want what you do.

At its worst, nightlife can devolve into really breaking you as a man. You mix in alcohol and lowered inhibitions and things like fighting can result. If you go out to observe, you notice everyone making a fool out of themselves. In fact, you might be such a guy who is struggling.

Nightlife has also changed from what it used to be.

Many videos exist on nightclubs dying out. While nightclubs still function, the reality is that nightlife itself has changed from what it used to be in the past. It is no longer the disco where you just dance with a random woman and take one home. After 2020, most women that are attractive are heading out to venues with large groups and are looking to chill more than just meet men. More on this as you read on.

What has happened is that while nightlife has evolved, the tactics towards it have not. They are outdated and from years of observations, I have seen that they just don’t work. This after years of going out and doing nightlife with a lot of different guys who were out to meet women.

The typical playbook.

If you are the typical guy who is out with his group of, mostly guy, friends or someone who studied any of the Pickup Artist tactics growing up, your tactics for nightlife likely involve approaching a horde of women. In most cases, they likely involve the following.

Drunk guy Game.

Get drunk with the boys and don’t talk to any women at the first half of the night. In some cases, even “Pre-Game” at one of the apartments or house of the guy friends. Don’t head out until midnight while women have already been approached a ton. Get drunk and lazily talk to girls.

“Sarging” and PUA

A method invented by RSD Nation where guys would go out and literally talk to everyone from guys to ugly women. It was a way to “take action” and spam approach a lot of women to “get in state” (feel confident enough). Eventually, you talk to the hot women and are as confident as can be.

Numbers Game.

Most likely, you are someone that goes out and does a high volume of approaches. The mindset is if you approach a lot then some of those are going to turn into numbers. It becomes a funnel and some of those numbers turn into dates. Then before you know it, you are texting many women.

Over the years, I not only tried all of these but also saw other guys try them overtime.

The methods above may occasionally work but they have major downsides:

• They really only work on girls who are super into you and are usually less attractive than you

• In most cases, they do not work at all

• You will be miserable doing them on a long enough period and even burn out

• You will waste a lot of time being out rather than putting that time to good use

I commonly saw it with so many Pickup Bootcamps and guys doing mass approaches. It really only worked when there was a clear looks gap between the guy and the girl which favored the girl. For example, one time when I was out and about, I witnessed a bootcamp being run by a prominent Pickup company. The students who got makeouts were making out with a busted up Indian girl and a hideous looking dorky Asian girl. I kept up with the students and many months later, it was hitting on low quality and not really getting much results.

For a while, I was that guy. Even as early as last year, I was the guy who would go out to bars and clubs every week and multiple times a week. My method was below:

• Go out

• Have a drink or two or a few

• Talk to tons of girls

• Get rejected by most

• Have some into me

• Occasionally close

The results were inconsistent but it was really just a lot of nights of dealing with rejection from Mids. At times, the rejections were harsh and if you deal with them on a long enough timeline, they tend to wear on you. Sometimes, you start to hate women as a result and have bitterness towards them.

But also think about it from her end.

In reality, good looking women these days go out for the following reasons:

• To be seen (IG stories, posts, etc.)

• To genuinely enjoy a girl’s night out

• To enjoy a night out with their friends (both guys and girls)

• To explore a new spot in town

• Work or social event that just happened to end up at a bar

With the rise of dating apps, women just aren’t going out with the purpose of meeting men like they used to. Even a Mid can have hundreds of matches on the apps and hundreds of DMs waiting in her IG if she wanted. So where does that put you as some guy who walks up to her at the bar and tells her she is cute? Unless she is already prone to being attracted to you from the start, not in a good place.

“You aren’t adding any value”

On the Degen Diaries Telegram Chat, we have a prominent Nightlife expert. This guy owns his own gym and has regularly slept with models. He has also been a great mentor for me throughout the months and I am getting results due to what he has recommended. He told me the concept about nightlife and the reality of it as a guy.

The cold hard truth is that as a typical guy doing nightlife, you’re not adding any value. This is why most places charge high covers for men. No one wants to go to a venue where the entire thing is a sausagefest. That’s why the good spots get men to buy tables or else they are denied entry.

They know that whether it is a guy or a group of guys, they are going to do the following at the place:

• Get drunk and potentially cause a scene

• Hit on the girls there and likely make them uncomfortable

This is also why venues who let anyone in and don’t have strict doors tend to attract Mids with massive egos and desperate guys. These places are also tough for pulling. In fact, most of the times when you hit on a girl or group of girls, you will be met with rejections and Games. Does not mean you avoid these spots, by all means go there if you are new and need the reps. However, just realize that this is where the dynamic is at.

The correct mindset and way to do it.

In order for this to work, you have to shift your mindset. If you are like me, obviously you want to meet hot girls and take one home. However, so does nearly every guy out there. So how do you differentiate? Your mindset needs to shift from “I want hot girls” to the below:

“How am I adding value to the environment?”

Meaning, yeah you may want a hot girl but what does she gain by being around you? How is her night improved as a result of you entering her world?

A compliment and approach? Literally every other guy has done that. By the time it is midnight, every guy is approaching.

Now that we have that out of the way, we can agree that just going around a typical venue and approaching women is not a good strategy. Here is what we have found to work but it requires time and investment, especially if you want quality.

The Tommy Method.

This was made by a popular member on our Degen Diaries Chat and has worked for me and others who have tried it. One thing to keep in mind is before you do, you have to somewhat look the part. If you are big, buff, and in great shape then this is great. However, even if you are not, you must invest a lot in good fashion. If you dress poorly, this won’t work.

Ideal circumstances for this to work:

• Big group sets (3+) of mostly women (a gay guy here and there in the set is okay)

• The venue must be high-end and have a strict door

• Multiple high-end venues in the area

Here is what you do:

• Make friends and connections at nightlife venues that are good

• Do the above by going on an off-night and chatting with the staff there

• You must do this across the period of a month

• Conduct yourself with decency in these venues (no causing trouble)

• Potentially help the staff out here and there (tip them well, make their day easier by great conversations, and offer them advice on something)

Remember, if you talk to ANY guy out there in nightlife? It is always a staff member at the venue. Do not talk to random guys, ever, if your goal is to get women. A lot of random guys will take that “in” they have by knowing you now to enter your sets and take the women you have spent time interacting with.

In terms of who you want as friends, usually, it is your best bet to be friends with a bouncer. Remember, this may take time and some bouncers are naturally guarded and others can be flat out douchebags. If you must make small talk, do so on an off-night (any night that is not Thursday, Friday, or Saturday).

So now you have built your connections. This takes time and it is a part of why most men will never do it. It also really only works in venues that have a tougher door and higher quality women. It is not effective or worth it in venues that let anyone in.

Once you have done this, simply ask the bouncer and staff for a favor. Ask them how many hot girls you would have to bring to cut the line. If they agree, then you move forward. Note that in a lot of these venues, even hot girls have to wait in line for a while.

Offering value.

What is so special about this is that it works on large groups of women and you almost want that. It is far better that you bring a lot of hot girls as opposed to just one.

Now that you have done that, you simply go out in the area and do your approaching there. However, your goal is not to get a number or anything. You go out during busy hours and approach women on the streets or around the area. However, you must be choosy with who you approach. The typical RSD “Sarging” will not work here.

In fact, if you bring in fat girls and ugly girls, the staff at the given venue is going to dislike you. You must approach the best looking women you can. On most nights, you should not be doing anything more than 10 approaches. You are choosy like a modeling agency would be, not desperate like a guy looking to score.

The offer.

After you talk to them, the offer is not to get a number or IG or anything. The offer is you tell them about a couple of high-end venues in the area. Ask them their thoughts on them. You tell them that you have friends there and you all can simply cut the line. Keep doing this until you find women willing to go with it. It is ideal because it works on big groups of women instead of just one.

The act.

Lead the women you are with to these venues. Ideally, the one who is the most receptive of the group you can simply hold her hand. The reason you do this is because as you move around in different cities, other guys will be on the hunt and try to approach your sets. In some cases, they might approach you first. Ignore, with kindness, and keep it moving. Ideally, you don’t want to be more than a 10 minute walk away from the venue.

Once you come to the door, your bouncer friend should let you and the hot girls through. Note that it is likely as you cut the line, other hot girls will be waiting in line. When you are let in and friends with the bouncer, immediately you get pre-selection.

If you have made friends with the bartender, then it is optional that you can get drinks with the bartender responding well to you. Immediately, women are asking how in the world you know so many people. You build status this way.

However, this is not advisable at a busy bar as guys on the hunt might try to jump into your interaction.

The (potential) close.

In some cases, you might find that one girl in the group is quite open to you. Now that you have earned the respect of the group and offered value, you can talk to just her. If there is attraction there and she is open to your advances, you propose going to your place for the view. You simply tell her friends that “me and (name) are going to check out the other view”. You also grab numbers or IG, the Instagram is ideal as it shows that you have status.

In some cases, the friends might be protective and you have to respect that. With locals, you might not be as successful. With tourists, you will have far better luck. If they approve, you take her to your spot and give her an amazing time.

The long-game.

Over the long haul, you simply build up your connections with local women. If you want, you can get together group chats and other gatherings at these venues. At the same time, you are forming these groups where you show up with women and the women actually like you enough to wing you. Tommy has even told me that you can tell the girl to “be your wingman”.

It is important that even though you have these female friends, you don’t get too close to them. The reason is they are going to try and lock you down. Instead, you are just the middleman who is providing them with access to high-end venues and events.

You are winning in pre-selection and usually having one of the highest status at the venue.

Alternative uses.

While I have not tried this, it is recommended that you can do this with your Daygame connections as well as women you meet throughout the week. By being vetted and having that pre-selection, you are already high value in her eyes.

Involving other men and male friendships.

It is advisable that the ONLY friends you make starting out are the nightlife staff, no one else. Do not make friends with other men or even interact with them under any circumstances. If you must, then act with decency and politeness, not with hostility. Remember, you want to make the venue a better place and fights do not do that!

Now that you have this in mind, overtime, you are going to need guy friends. If you are handling anymore than five women, it becomes unfavorable for a gathering. So you simply look through your friend list and find the most socially calibrated guys you can trust around women. Gay friends are optimal here as they are well-versed in social skills and know how to function around women. If you go with a straight friend, find one who has top notch social skills.

Note that this is not the environment where you involve your political friend or the one who always whines about Men’s Rights. Involving the wrong guy friends can put a serious barrier in place.

Building quality male friendships.

Overtime, once you have become good at this, you build quality male friendships. The definition of that is:

• A guy friend who has access to a lot of women

• A guy friend who has access to quality resources like a yacht which you can bring women on

• A guy friend who is well-connected himself

Note that if you are quickly making guy friends, you are not doing it right. You have to be choosy here. If you are not, then you are going to potentially put the great women you brought into your life in a bad spot.

Now that you have status and some leverage, you start to become a realistic option as a friend to men who are movers and shakers.

For those of you who want to see the tweet, you can see it below.

Aruvin is no doubt a controversial figure on X. I don’t always agree with what he says but in some ways, I do respect that an Asian guy has gone out and made his Playboy dreams happen. I also love to see men of various ethnic groups try their luck in Europe because if European guys are going to South America and Asia to Game, then why is it wrong for foreign men to do so in Europe? I also wanted to talk about this because the concept of “Game” in Western Europe kind of always fascinated me.

In some ways, you can say that “Game” may as well have had its origins in Western Europe because of how much countries like Spain, Italy, and France put emphasis on seduction. I was always curious to see how women from Western Europe are like compared to America as well. Being in major US cities, I get to experience that. I do wish there was more conversation around Game in Western Europe but for now, I will help lead the charge.

The Biggest Difference.

While there are similarities between Game between Western Europe (I am counting Scandinavian and literally anywhere that isn’t Eastern Europe/Slavic world as Western Europe here) and America, what immediately stuck out to me and many of my friends was the major underlying difference. You really only see this if you are out and about doing approaches across a span of multiple nights.

Intrusive and disruptive men.

In the pickup and “Game” community, they have this saying called “AMOG” which stands for Alpha Male the Other Guy. So an example of this is when you are out at a bar, you talk to a girl because you find her hot, and some other guy comes in to try and steal her away from you. However, I define it as “AMOG” in my eyes if he managed to successfully do so. In Europe, you just get a lot of disruptive and intrusive men whose sole purpose is to ruin your interaction.

As Aruvin said in his Tweet above, these men won’t even acknowledge you and will just do it outright in a disrespectful way.

I had this happen to me a few times and if you are brand new to Game, you might handle it in the wrong way. Here are a few situations.

Prague 2024

In 2024 when I was in Prague, I approached these two girls who were easily the best looking in the area. Both were half-Asian and half-White and from Manhattan, NY. After peaking their interest, I attempted to lead them to my Wingman at the time who was a dating coach in Prague. We were to meet him outside but it was a bit crowded to get to him.

Along the way, a number of European guys tried to shoot their shot which the girls ignored. We walked and managed to meet my friend. From there, we would go to Popos which is a downstairs bar. It has a beer hall with chairs in it and I sat there with these two girls as I slipped my wing my wallet so he could pay for the drinks.

The bar was quite crowded and so was the area we were sitting in. It was me, the two hot girls, three other women in the area, and rest all thirsty European guys. I strategically sat these girls to where it would be tough for an outsider to come in. An intense fifteen minutes ensued where guys were leering at the women at my table to where these two girls just wanted to leave. They pointed out how guys were flipping their tongues at them, my girl even looked in disgust.

My wing gets the drinks and dances with the other girl, he would end up smashing. My girl is too weirded out by the whole interaction and I am spent playing defense. Needless to say, I didn’t score that night despite opening.

Stockholm 2024.

My trip to Stockholm was draining as I was sick for half of it and functioning on little to no sleep. I ended up going out and every single time, guys would come into the sets I was in. I warded them off well but it did become a hassle.

Budapest 2025.

I witnessed this so much in Budapest that rather than sharing a story, I will share bullet point format notes:

• Countless British dudes asking girls we would talk to “Have ya got a lighter?”

• British, Indian, and Arab guys asking “How does everyone know each other?”

• An annoying French Arab and a Black German guy interrupting the set I was in with boring finance talk

• A predatory Swedish guy interrupting a set my good Polish friend was in

• A guy from a PUA group asking for my name and then interrupting a set a friend of mines was in by telling my friend he knew me from way back (he did not)

• An annoying Romanian guy who was out there with his “girlfriend” constantly harassing the two German girls I was already talking to

By far the most memorable, a short Arab guy and his fat friend who work at the Gyro shop across Szimpla throwing fries at guys who talk to girls outside the venue. This annoying guy ran over with free fries for the German girls. Hot one I was talking to was annoyed while her fat friend happily took them, obviously. The guys would try to get with the girls and fail.

It is such a thing in Budapest that even their leaders on Game Global have to deal with it as you can see below.

All of the above was in just a week.

To their credit, I will say that Hungarian and Slavic were rather civil and cool. As for why, we will later explore that.

How to deal with this.

On one hand, it may seem intimidating when dealing with as a guy if you are new to Game. However, the good news is that while these sorts of disruptive situations and men happen often in Europe, they are actually quite easy to diffuse compared to the US. European men aren’t that good at actually being “AMOGs”, they are just being disruptive. On top of that, the advantage is always with you when you are talking to the girls.

When a guy has to force himself into a set and try to disrupt you, he is coming off as intrusive. The only time women will ever entertain his advances is if they are just not into you at all. In that case, they will even be nicer to him so you are better off moving on anyways. The guys who are good at disrupting often see the social cues and body language and come in opportunistically, far more common in the US than in Europe where the men simply go in blind.

If he does not have the social skills to even acknowledge you, he is either drunk or flat out disruptive. In this case, he is likely not good at what he does and only has an opportunity if the girl you are talking to has no interest in you.

Here are a few things to keep in mind.

Keep nightlife interactions with male strangers to a bare minimum.

I get a lot of flak for this but I live by this. The ONLY men you should be talking to in nightlife that you are not with are nightlife staff who can get you into the club or help your reputation there. The rest? Forget it. Any guy who is also out with his boys or out with a wing is a threat and should be avoided at all costs. In America, you might get away with making this mistake, in Europe, it is fatal. You don’t have to be a prick but keep all interactions with other men short and surface-level at best.

This is even more true if you are interacting with a girl and a guy cuts in, at no point do you socialize with him.

It can also be useful for you to take some time to come to a venue on off nights and have good rapport with the staff. They can help against disruptive men.

The worst thing you can do is get emotional and react.

You cannot get angry, frustrated, or too combative with the men. However, as I will later cover, there are ways to diffuse this fast. You have to keep your mental cool because if not, you will come out on the losing end. Despite all of the flak the guy doing the approach below got after Clavicular tried to “Mog” him, he actually played the set as well as anyone could have.

ALWAYS be aware of your surroundings.

For example, at a bar or club, if your girl is in a high traffic area, even if a set is going well, it is in danger of being ruined due to her position. You could try to quickly move a woman from a busy area of the bar to one where it would be tricky for a disruptive guy to ruin. This also means that you stay away from Gyro places where annoying workers can harass you and your women.

Just limiting access and opportunities for outside men can do wonders. The more effort they have to put in to reach women, the more foolish they come off. In some cases, the guys are so desperate that they will still try. My friend in Spain had to deal with a guy who was consistently shouting at girls he was with from below saying “I love you baby!”. It didn’t work for him and he got kicked out.

In some cases, the odds are rigged against you. For example, a friend of mine had two girls he bought to a bar in Paris. The bartender was trying to get with them so he would simply give them free drinks and invite them out back for “free drinks” and exclude my friend who bought them. To their credit, the girls turned the bartender down. In other cases, a guy might have friends in the venue already who will always side with him regardless of his antics.

That is common as well in Europe, service staff often getting disruptive and trying to ruin your interactions with your dates. I have often heard stories of this happening in Paris. This can meet you have drink dates more during the day or scope out a venue before bringing a date there.

Body positioning is everything.

Leave no more than a foot of space between you and your girl. If the attraction is built enough, have your arm around her waist. In nightclubs and hectic venues, this is key. Large amounts of space can let a guy just break right into the interaction itself.

If your girl is into you, it really doesn’t matter that much and you just have to not react.

If you notice that the girl you are with is into you, then no matter what antics the disruptors pull, it won’t work out for them. Just ignoring them outright and just looking at your girl can take care of most issues. You have to be careful to be close to her physically, turned away from the disruptor, and just watch them dig themselves into a hole. Let them talk, look at your girl the whole way, smile, and when they burn themselves out just use this as an excuse to lead her elsewhere

A simple “let’s go somewhere quieter” and leading her out will suffice.

When they do approach and you are still working on building attraction, step in and end it fast.

In this case, we are going to address the “maybe”, meaning your Game can make or break the situation. If she is not interested, she will talk to just about anyone but you. If her interest is building and guys cut in, you need to take care of it fast. Here are a few things men are going to try.

“Have you got a lighter?”

Very common with British guys but you can simply step in and say “No”, put your body between the intruder and the girl, and go back to talking to her, even though the question was meant for her. Even if your girl has a lighter, she is going to ignore the intruder. However, if she offers a lighter then she is either playing Games or testing you.

Once she has offered the lighter, you are at a disadvantage there. You have a few options:

• Stick around and let it play out for a bit to gage her interest with the other guy before bouncing and leaving, you pay him no mind

• As soon as he gives the lighter back, immediately get back to “So as I was saying” and cut him out, your body in the way of him and the girl will help

• If more advanced, ask the guy for the lighter back, hand it to the girl, and put your body between the girl and him

Note that if your girl’s interest in you is weak, she will work against you and work for the other guy.

“How do you two know each other?” or “How does everyone know each other?”

This I also see used and there are a few ways to immediately deal with it:

• Say “So as I was saying”, go back to talking to your girl, and close the guy off from the group (get between him and the girl so he cannot intrude)

• Say “One second man!”, go back to talking to your girl, and ignore him

  • If you want, put your body between the girl and the intruder

• Say “Excuse me, do you two know each other?”, your girl says no, then partially look at the guy while shielding your girl and ask “Can we help you?”

  • DO NOT TURN YOUR BODY FULLY INTO THE GUY

The second is effective because he has to wait but if he asks again, he seems more desperate.

The third generally helps a lot with most of these disruptive situations, especially if the guy has come up randomly in which case even a “Can we help you?” isn’t needed. Just a simple leading the girl out of the guy’s sight.

If the guy persists and you can tell the girl is even slightly annoyed, simply move her away and turn your back to the guy.

Close.

This is a good time to gage her buying temperature. If an intrusive guy has come in, use that as your reason to get her somewhere more peaceful. Simply tell her that the atmosphere is a bit “annoying” in the environment and you want to leave. This alone will get you a close if she is into you. If she plays Games and says “I rather stay”, you can either try to close or you can try and move to other women in the venue.

Conclusion.

In future posts, I will talk more about why guys do this more in Europe compared to the US. For right now, this is just something I want all American and foreign guys in Europe to be aware of. In Western Europe in particular, there is also an epidemic of creepy and predatory men harassing tourist women. I’ve heard from a number of female friends how uncomfortable they felt in Paris in particular.

The silver lining is that while Western European men are quite disruptive and intrusive, they are rarely good at it.

Over the years, I would turn to other Game communities, Manosphere Blogs and Sites, and even Game Chats. In fact, after COVID I actually took part in a Game Chat called Game Global and went to some meetups. After all these years, I had a big realization around 2024 or so that I am officially done being involved with the Game community.

What happened.

Ever since being involved with various Game communities like Game Global, I would go out and wing with various guys. I would say that less than 10% were in any way decent at Game or even the kinds of guys you would introduce to your normal friends. In fact, some girls I run into with the social scene here in Miami ask me “How did you know that weirdo?”.

For example, I once winged with this tall Ukrainian guy who, to his credit, was a smart man on paper. He was doing his residency and everything in Miami. However, he:

• Had zero sense of fashion whatsoever (wore blue collared shirt with blue jeans….)

• Come off as extremely whiney to where it infected your vibe

• Had almost zero social skills or awareness of his environment

In one daygame sessions years ago, he would follow the same miserable process:

• Go out to a girl

• Open her

• Get rejected with the “I have a boyfriend” line

• Ask her how she met her boyfriend

• She would say work or friends

• Run to me and whine saying “OMG man these women keep meeting their men through work or social circle, how do I get into these circles or get this job?”

• Then go back and approach again

• Repeat the whole process all over

As you can see, it was draining to be around this guy. I even tried to help him by taking a photo of him to help build his IG but he grunted, shook his head, and said to go back to cold approach. It was so baffling to me because this guy will just go, get rejected, and then whine to me again.

But the problem is, these kinds of characters were all too common in the Game and Pickup community. Weirdos who did anything but help themselves.

How most Pickup Groups and guys still in them operate.

Here are some common trends you find with guys who are in Pickup and Game communities:

• Most do not have good careers and often work jobs like driving for Uber, doing fast food delivery, or being flat out unemployed

• Most live with their parents way away from the prime areas of the city

• Most do not dress well

• Most go to the same places to “daygame” during the day or “sarge” at night

• The vast majority are not putting that much work into improving their lives outside of “Game”

For example, I had one wing I have written about in the past named Andy. Even getting the guy to show up on time was a hassle. Then he would send me off on side quests to see if an area was open for parking as he drove from an hour away to meet me. We spent time trying to have him go through traffic so he could even meet on time, he rarely did.

Everything wrong with what these Pickup guys are doing.

To some extent, you have to admire it and in my view, when you are newer, there is nothing wrong with doing “daygame sessions” and all that. However, what most of these guys do is do the same Game sessions over and over and don’t change much. It’s pretty much non-stop talking to girls and doing cheesy routines. They also come off as quite creepy.

For example, I saw a set where Andy approached this Asian girl in Miami Beach in such a creepy way that she actually screamed in fear at his opener. Thankfully he was able to catch himself but he still had no social calibration there.

Almost everything these guys do is a far cry from how successful men operate. Everything from how they dress, carry themselves in social interactions, and talk to people to how they act around women.

Just simply “taking action” and cold approach is not going to take a dorky guy with zero social interactions into being good with women. Instead, that guy is better off:

• Making the most of his looks

• Fixing his life (finances, etc.)

• Interacting with people at meetups and networking events

• Fine tuning how he comes across to others for a couple of years

• Going out with a friend or two while in a social mood

• Occasionally talking to women

A guy doing that would be far better off in the long-run and with women than a guy just “sarging” and “cold approaching”. I know what you are going to say, he needs “Game”?

I agree, but the reality is that you cannot just teach “Game” to a dorky loser.

It’s like teaching a couch potato how to do a bicycle kick. You first need to get him in shape, teach him the basics of futbol, and make sure he is in peak athletic condition. After that, you can teach him advanced Game. Teaching it to some socially awkward loser who has no friends is a recipe for disaster.

In fact, telling a loser guy to just go join the community is the worst advice you can give him. He will be around other losers, be led by other losers, and propel down the wrong path even further.

A bigger problem.

I also notice that when you hang out with enough guys from a Game Group or community, it becomes more about drama in that community than actually hanging out. For example, I once hung out with a guy from Game Global who saw Owen from RSD in Wynnwood and actually screamed in excitement. Then he tried to grab my hand to grab a photo with Owen but I turned him down. The guy was pissed off at me for not engaging in his fan boy party.

After a while, this led me to ask an important question.

Are any of these people living a life I want?

That was a powerful question I had to ask myself at one point. The answer, in almost all cases, was a resounding no. Almost no guy I met from the Game community was living a life close to anything I wanted. In fact, the lives most of these guys were living was quite depressing.

I think the average guy I met through work and school was living a better life than these guys. At least those guys had a stable career or met a decent woman for a long-term partnership. The guys in the Game community, in most cases, had none of that.

Most of all, it showed in the quality of women they managed to get. Majority of these guys, if they were getting women, were in no way getting the hot ones. In other words, the main reason I left is because almost no one was getting the results I wanted to get. Whether it was in life or with Game. The vast majority of men had money problems and often had very little to show in the way of getting beautiful women.

A recent experience that was eye-opening.

I won’t say any names here but an assistant of a famous Miami Dating Coach was in the same venue as me a week or so ago. This guy has been in videos with the dating coach and regularly cold approaches in Miami. I am not really friends with this guy as he is a prick but I had a hot blonde two set and needed help so I brought him into the set.

Long story short, he creeped out the chick he was working on. On top of that, he immediately got up and left with a smile and this chick got up to go to another table. This is after I had built up a great rapport with them and had managed to lead them into the nightclub part of the venue.

Let me put this into perspective, this is a guy who has been on a video that got tons of views. Yet, this Game Professional who was working with an expert dating coach could not handle a warm interaction with hot girls and just seriously creeped out his girl to where it ruined it for me.

I also later came to find that the top dating coach in Miami isn’t in the most ideal situation financially because Youtube demonetizes so much dating advice. The so called assistant has had to go back to getting a 9 to 5 because of how harsh the platforms are on Pickup and Dating advice now.

For years, I saw how so many Game Gurus usually went on to have depressing lives. Some ended up broke, some miserable, some had to be “born again” into religion, and a lot even had to pivot away from Game.

How the successful men lived.

Over the years, I would connect with men who had a lot of success with women and more than half had never heard of the Game community. Most of them had successful careers, were in decent enough shape, and had a decent chunk of change. As much as everyone hates to admit it, the Claviculars and Dan Bilzerians of the world ultimately won out over the RSD Owens and Pickup coaches.

Real life showed me one thing over the years, the guys who were:

• Working on their looks

• Building their social circles

• Fixing their finances

• Working on their career or business

• Going out to social events

• Making quality friends

Were regularly ending up with or dating hot girls. If you disagree with me, just go find the hot girls in your area and what men they end up with. A lot of times, it is that guy who has a big social life, is looksmaxxed, and made the most of his life. For a guy like that, learning Game can become an unfair advantage. If he decides to cold approach women at venues, he is having success.

Time and time again, I saw this pan out. The Pickup guys and those in the Game community were not getting the hottest girls. The guys making the most of their looks and lifestyle were.

In fact, I saw Clavicular in person clean up and have great results at a venue that I have seen every single Pickup coach fail and burnout in. Just how girls reacted to him is different than how women in their prime would react to even the best Pickup coaches out there. Time and time again, I saw men with years of “Game” knowledge and expertise get clowned and owned by guys that were doing life right.

I also started to see how weird these Game guys were on the outside looking in now.

At times, I’d go out with a large group of mostly girls and some cool guys. I would recognize certain guys from Game Groups years later. In some cases, they awkwardly approached the girls that were with us and in every single case, the girls said “that guy was weird”. In almost no situation were any of these Game guys having any luck at all.

It became too much to ignore at a certain point. Most guys in the Game and Pickup community are not even close to doing well and the ones who do tend to move on fast. The vast majority are just so awkward and strange that they actually don’t have much of a chance unless they make massive changes. A lot of them are just a lost cause and going to end up as Incels.

Me these days.

I might pop into Game communities on a rare occasion when I am bored but for the most part, I started my own chat. Degen Diaries is doing well and we have had some amazing members come through. We have experts in the online dating space, Social Circle Game space, and daygame and nightlife space. I feel like a lot of us are getting better every year which is worth celebrating.

Outside of that, life is so busy now for me. Outside of working so I can survive in a brutal city like Miami, where rents keep going up, I am also going out and building a lot of connections in nightlife. Who knows where things go but I feel like I am headed in a better direction than I was a few years ago.

It’s really all about desire and how they treat it.

At the end of the day, what do men desire from beautiful women? Ultimately, it is intimacy. However, the difference is that confident and forward men chase it and don’t deny it. Confident men and “Bad Boys” are not putting on an act. “Nice Guys” are putting on an act. It is an act that may seem noble on the surface, but deep down, is far more sinister.

You can tell everything about anyone, any institution, any culture, or any group’s character based on how they showcase their desire for the things in life we all want.

In the dating sense, it is wanting intimacy with a beautiful woman. The Bad Boy will be upfront about it and not beat around the bush. The Nice Guy will put on a mask, take a moral high ground, talk poorly of the guys in her nice she likes, talk poorly of men who are having success, and try to present themselves as this Angel. On a dating level, it is one thing. You can understand why women would pass on such a fake man.

However, what gets more revealing is when you realize that these men are actually far more dangerous than we initially suspect. When you realize the grave risk that women actually avoid, you start to realize just why the rejection came. That is what I want to talk about today, the danger that Nice Guy Behavior actually poses to not just your dating life but your survival as a human being.

It is fair to say that almost all of us want to:

• Be Rich

• Look Good

• Be respected and popular

• Have power

The people who are confident and forward in life will say that they want those things and put the work into getting them. They will admit that they want those things and chase after them. The reality is, we all want those things. Anyone telling you that they do not want those things in life, at least going out of their way to do so, is usually a bad person.

Everyone out there wants the finest things in life. The people who do not want the finest things in life are not being vocal about their lack of desire for them. If their lives are truly so fulfilling, they are busy living that life. They aren’t out there barking about money being the root of all evil; they are living happily with their family on a small farm out in the middle of nowhere.

I am not saying that a lack of wanting the finest things in life makes you a bad person. What I am saying is that vocally campaigning against the finest things in life and hating others for wanting them makes you into a terrible human being. The people doing so are some of the scummiest people you will ever meet. The people happily living their simple life aren’t the “Nice Guy” trying to get with her, they are just some outsiders who couldn’t care less about her because they have their own thing going on.

People who display “Nice Guy Behavior” will say the following:

• Money is the root of all evil

• You are vain and shallow for judging others based on their looks

• Popularity? That’s for high schoolers!

• Power corrupts!

More importantly, anytime someone in your circle or life criticizes you for chasing the things in life we all desire, you should cut them out immediately. What you are dealing with is usually the plotting kind. In fact, it’s not even men who do this. There are a lot of women who take this moral high ground, too.

I have often seen how the less attractive women will talk as if looking good doesn’t mean a thing to them. They will talk about how good looks are overrated or try to play up some moral high ground. They will find other ways to compete with better-looking women, and usually, it will involve some degree of morality. They might even say how the hottest girl is a bad person when, in reality, they themselves are some downright nasty, vain, and shallow people.

In fact, these are the kinds of people who will befriend you and then quickly throw you under the bus. They are the kinds of people who will mooch off of you and never pay you back. They are the kinds of people who will gaslight you for trying to better your own life. All they have are displays of morality to mask their bad intentions.

Anytime someone is using morality as their mask or something to brag about, they are usually a terrible person. This is regardless of politics, nationality, or whatever route they take. Anytime someone is having to guilt-trip you in the name of morality or trying to gaslight you with some moral high ground, they are usually the scum of humanity.

Repressed desires masked with morality make for some of the worst human beings you will ever deal with.

I’d even say that this is the formula for the worst kind of human being you will meet:

Repressed Desire for something + Mask of morality/self-righteousness against it = Terrible Human Being

When some people are unable to get things like a lot of money, success, or social respect, they will take a moral high ground towards them. You will commonly see this with Nice Guys who befriend women and constantly gossip about men in their lives who use them for sex. It’s not because the Nice Guy is concerned; it is because he is mad he is not the one getting any action.

Women see right through this and know what such a guy is capable of. What women also know is that giving this kind of man even a second of intimacy will mean a long life of being gaslighted and judged. A lot of women realize that such a man is putting on a mask and start to wonder where else in his life he is being fake. Beautiful women have long had to deal with men masking their intentions and realize that if they are not careful, it could be their lives on the line.

In reality, you see this repressed desire masked as morality across all genders and groups.

For example, feminists were often talking about how wrong it is to objectify women. They even tried to get men to like overweight and hideous-looking women. They would say things like “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Deep down, they weren’t mad that men were “objectifying” women, they were mad that no one was objectifying them.

On the other side, you see this with “Good Christians” on the Right Wing. The kinds of people who talk about being a “Man Of God” and how “sex before marriage is a sin,” but then, will happily cheat on their wives for a younger and more attractive woman. Once again, the common theme is repressed desire masked with morality. It is true for any side in politics.

You will even see this in the corporate world. Go work for a big company that takes great pride in its “values”. Over time, you will find a lot of terrible people who end up in leadership there. You will also find that this same company is treating its customers who aren’t paying the biggest bucks like dirt. Some companies will cling to their morality because they aren’t the biggest company in their industry, almost as a sleazy competitive advantage to draw in talent.

When it comes to dealing with people, groups, and even cultures that operate on repressed desires masked as morality, what you are actually dealing with is a person who cannot be trusted.

My dangerous encounter with a Nice Guy.

I have written in the past about a Wingman I had in Budapest named Paul. In my years of being in the Game, I have never met a more concrete example of a “Nice Guy” than Paul. In stereotypical Brit fashion, he loved to take that moral high ground. You got that holier-than-thou approach through and through.

Paul was overly considerate and could not even have us seen as talking about Game at a loud public place, because what if people hear us? He even shamed me for approaching this hot Italian girl because the nosy Scots she made friends with that night were judging. Well, over time, cracks developed in Paul’s character.

For example, at one point, he said that most of the women in Budapest brothels are trafficked, which is “great for us but awful for them,” and laughed. I got goosebumps hanging out with the guy and had to make a plan to end any and all social interactions with him. However, if you were to go by what Paul posted online on Game Chats or what he initially came off as, you would have never suspected.

Over time, Paul would be super critical of you to the point where you were dumbfounded. The guy would add no value to any interaction and just judge you for everything you did. His Gameplan as a man pushing 30 was to stay in hostels, build a social network, get women out in party situations, and bring them home. Looking back at it now, scummy move.

At one point, we got into an argument, which Paul had started because he did not like me being forward with a girl I met at a bar. Meanwhile, Paul was talking to his girl for over an hour and could not get anything going other than talking. To make matters even worse, he never once did approach the whole time we hung out. In that argument, I saw that dead-eyed look in Paul’s eyes as he got angry and immediately backed off before things got crazy. After that, I dropped Paul and bounced.

Paul would also dig up an old infield of a Degen Diary member and share it with them as a sort of blackmail technique. Once again, someone with a Nice Guy mask I misjudged. While I can handle myself against someone like Paul in a physical confrontation, I feel for any undersized woman who would have had to deal with such a monster. As a matter of fact, Paul is one of the reasons Degen Diaries is now strict about who we let in.

My overall point.

I went on for a while, but my overall point is this: the person repressing that desire and hiding it with morality is usually some of the worst humanity has to offer. Not only are these kinds of people dishonorable, but they are also dangerous. If you let them into your life, they will attempt to manipulate and change the trajectory of your entire life.

While the US men’s hockey team was set to play Canada, I noticed some hostility arise between the two countries on social media.

For example, the post below somewhat went viral and there have been a lot of Americans calling out the behavior of Canadians.

Granted, a number of these people are Right Wing Influencers. Over the years, I have run into and interacted with a ton of Canadians myself. When I make the post today though, I am mainly talking about Canadians from British Columbia and especially Ontario. In fact, you can say that this post only focuses on Canadians from those two regions. I find that certain Canadians like those in Alberta are entirely different people compared to what you get from Ontario.

My experience.

For what its worth, I am an American of Indian heritage. You can say that my experience with Canadians, especially White Canadians from Ontario, has been quite interesting. In fact, a year ago there was a viral video where an Indian man got into a viral encounter with an older Canadian woman. So this sets the stage for my own experience with Canadians.

While I have had a relatively good experience with Canadians from places like Alberta and Quebec, it’s been a different story with people from Ontario and British Columbia. People from Ontario are….unique, to put it lightly.

On one hand, I do think it’s messed up how Canada’s government let in a ton of people from a different culture in such a short amount of time. The housing crisis is something else in Canada and then you have the economy being so bad for the youth with jobs at Tim Hortons going to Indians who will work for pennies on the dollar. However, even before this migration crisis, my experience with Canadians from Ontario and British Columbia was not good.

A few observations.

The first thing I notice about Canadians from Ontario and British Columbia is this high school mentality to try and be the most popular. Notice, these are grown people acting like this. It’s hard to put into words but it is like the selfie heavy wannabe cool mindset. While it may seem shocking, I actually find Canadians from Vancouver and Toronto to be far more vain, shallow, and judgmental than Americans from any major American city.

One other observation I have made is that there is this attitude of always instigating and pushing a conflict. A good example is the cornball interviewer who tried to press Mike Tyson. However, pay close attention to 1:40 in the video when Mike Tyson says “you come across as a nice guy but really are a piece of sh*t”.

If I had to describe people from Ontario in one phrase, this would be it. You get a lot of forward smiles with bad intent. I used to wonder what led to this kind of behavior but overtime, I formulated a theory.

In my view, Canadians from places that are not British Columbia or Ontario tend to value the simple things in life. A lot of their worth and care goes towards more of the simple things. For example, friends I made from Alberta loved to fish and do more outdoorsy things. This also made them easier to talk to and live up the image of Canadians being nice and good people.

Meanwhile, people from British Columbia and Ontario value being popular, cool, and living the high life. However, the reality is that when it comes to perception, Toronto and Vancouver aren’t exactly New York or LA. In terms of global importance, cultural impact, and global influence; New York City and LA far exceed what Toronto and Vancouver can do. Even famous Canadian artists like Drake had to come to America to grow their music careers.

I think this realization breeds an inferiority complex in certain Canadians which then turns into envy. I’ve see this play out with these kinds of Canadians being far more judgmental, condescending, spiteful, rude, and gossip-heavy than Americans. It’s that feeling of being overlooked when chasing a validation-heavy lifestyle and image. The fact is, Toronto and Vancouver are not going to be in the same league as NYC, LA, London, Tokyo, or any of the other major global players.

So for the Canadians in those two cities who place so much importance on image and appearances, this stings and hurts even more. I think this can be partially to blame for their behavior.

As for the racism part.

I only bring up racism because Canadians love to mock Americans for being the racists. As an Indian descent guy, I have faced far less racism in America and from Americans than I have from White Canadians, especially those from British Columbia and Ontario. It irritates me when Canadians whine about ICE and Trump but then you see how bad the racism currently is towards Indians there and ask who they are to talk.

However, I have noticed that Canadians will cling onto and worship Black people and Black culture as a cover. The mentality is be extra nice to Black people and bend over backwards for them and now you have free reign to be racist to all other minority groups.

While I don’t like it when men make excuses about their race stopping them from dating attractive women, I will say that if you are an Indian guy in Vancouver or Toronto, you get a pass from me on this one. In some cases, the discrimination and prejudice towards your race is so strong that no amount of self-improvement and Game will fix it. Your best bet is to move.

In some cases, Indian men I have known who were born and raised in Ontario or BC are such a lost cause due to the trauma they had to endure that I find it’s impossible to coach or help them when it comes to women. You are better off avoiding them altogether. On Degen Diaries, we had a Canadian Indian guy who kept on getting thrown out of venues and played victim. As much as I tried to help him, he was argumentative and I had to boot him.

A while ago, I read a post by an Indian guy born and raised in British Columbia. He came out looking Black and he said that his classmates would be super nice to him and want to hang out. However, when they found out that he was Indian, the racism kicked into overdrive. People started being openly racist to his face.

I also noticed that a ton of online racist comments towards Indians tend to come far more from Canada and the Canadian people, namely those in Ontario and British Columbia. When I browsed online communities such as Forum Bodybuilding’s Misc a decade ago, the vast majority of anti-Indian sentiment was coming from Ontario and British Columbia. When things like that exist, I am a bit baffled whenever Canadians call Americans the racist.

Since this is a dating and Bachelor lifestyle site.

You may be wondering why a website dedicated to dating advice and Bachelorhood somehow cares about Canadians. Well, even in the Game community, I found that a lot of the original coaches and legends were Canadian. Erik von Markovik, better known as Mystery, for example, was from Toronto. RSD’s Owen Cook was from Canada. You have also had the likes of Justin Marc and Jack Denmo who are Canadian.

However, I have noticed that Canada also has a host of issues with guys talking to women. For example, a decade ago you had the Eaton Center scandal where guys were banned from approaching women at the mall. Just recently, you had a case where a guy was arrested for taking a course from a dating coach. On the outside looking in, Ontario seems like a nightmarish place to meet women.

Story time.

One time, I was visiting Montreal and there is this area of the city that tends to be more Anglo Canadian than French Canadian. There was a bar there called Churchills and so I went there with a couple of friends. We notice that the bartender is being overly flirty with us and on the table next to us, there are these older people. All of them are Anglo Canadian.

We also saw this younger Black girl come in to drop her application off. She did not want to apply online and took the initiative. Anyways, when she leaves, these insufferable old farts are gossiping and talking poorly about her. Just comes to show you the character of these people, so far.

Towards the end, my friend tried to approach this bartender and ask for her number which was a foolish move on his part as you should not try to Game service workers. However, this bartender was being quite aggressive with my friend at the bar. She was sitting down and eating on the other side and he approached to get her number. He ends up getting turned down and leaving the venue.

I had to use the bathroom before leaving and when I came out, I saw them talking poorly of my friend. They acted as if he had committed some serious offense by asking a bartender, who was being overly flirty with him, for her number. Naturally, I can be a confrontational guy and back then, I was that. As much as I wanted to walk out, I actually confront these people.

“So, you guys have been gossiping about a young girl who tried to put food on her table by trying to get a job and now you gossip about a young guy who mistakingly took the bartender’s overt kindness as something else. What gives? Do you guys do anything other than gossip about people?”

The older woman in the group got snarky and said “Oh here in Canada, we don’t harass bartenders”.

I look over to the bartender and ask: “If my friend was harassing you, I will confront him outside right now and have a word with him”

The bartender says “No no, he’s fine!”.

I look at the old scum gossiping and ask: “Any other comments?”.

An awkward silence ensues and before walking out I say “Well, feel free to gossip about me like you will every other person that walks in and out of this place”.

Never in my life have I gone to a venue and felt such awful energy as I did in that bar in Montreal’s more Anglo section.

My experiences in recent years.

While I have met the odd Canadian from Ontario and British Columbia I liked, most I have met are rather insufferable people. One thing that sticks out to me about Canadians we get in South Florida is that most of them tend to be rather vain. When I say shallow and vain, I mean even compared to what you usually get in South Florida.

However, I will say, if you are a Black guy then they are fish in a barrel for you. Canadians worship Black American culture more than any other nationality out there so if you are a Black guy, regardless of how good or ugly you look, they are definitely a prime market for you. Indian and Asian men will do better with French Canadian women and any Canadian woman NOT from Ontario or British Columbia.

Conclusion.

The best way I can describe Canadians is that they are practically Americans with a chip on their shoulder. They are Americans who feel the need to compensate for not being from the United States. They want the validation and glory that America gets on a global stage but they know they will not have it so the envy of that turns them resentful.

However, if you meet any Canadian that is not from British Columbia or Ontario, you may be in luck. They are truly some of the best human beings I have ever met. Alberta, please keep producing good people (and I do not mean that in a passive-aggressive, or rather I say “Canadian”, way).

In some ways, I feel like I am being really vulnerable with you guys right now. The reason is because here I am supposed to have it figured out and talking like an expert. On the other hand, I have my struggles as well. Sometimes, life happens.

What I did since 2022.

Since 2022, I have:

• Actively gotten into cold approach

• Had 2 photoshoots with pro photographers- That did not pan out at all, ironically I had more matches by having photos friends took of me

• Lost 20 lbs in 2025

• Stabilized my employment situation (it’s rough out there)

• Cut off all old friends who were holding me back

• Started Degen Diaries to create a community of men who are committed to getting better

While I have had some serious successes like 4 lays in Montreal in one week or 4 lays in Miami last year through daygame alone, the consistency is lacking.

Degen Diaries has humbled me.

The Telegram chat I started called Degen Diaries has humbled the heck out of me. The reason is because even though I started it, there are a lot of guys on it who get far better results than I do. We have a guy living in Latin America who got almost 40 lays last year. We have a guy who is a total Chad living in the US who is regularly matching with and getting hot girls. Initially, it can be a tough place to be. We have a member who went to Budapest and had a hell of a time.

Old me would have even quit Degen Diaries because for a couple of years now, a number of members on it have just outshined me. When your ego gets humbled like that, it can be a lot for a man. On the other hand, the new me is different. I realize that sometimes, when you are around exceptional men, you have to step your Game up.

Dry spells in Miami hit different.

When you get a lot of IGs and contacts of girls that are hot but it doesn’t pan out, it hits different when that same girl is on a boat with a guy or when she ends up dating some guy. It’s not the best city to be an Incel in. The lifestyle and all that comes with it forces you to continuously pick your Game up and be the best version of yourself. When you get out of those dry spells, it truly feels vindicating.

Part of my dry spells has also been that lack of consistency. I have sometimes been so overworked that I burn out and want to just spend that Thursday or Friday night staying in. I also find that I don’t act in the moment and am not ready when a girl wants to hang out. I lost 2 lays last year because I was sick and the girl had texted me being DTF.

So much of a successful dating life is about having a successful life in general that is consistent. A life where you are not sick, not unemployed, have some free time, and are ready to go when she hits you up. This is something I have done a poor job with in recent years and need to work on.

So I took the path of humility.

Even though I have had months on Degen Diaries where I get humbled as other members are regularly posting their receipts and successes, I am grateful for it. I have had the chance to learn from some of the brightest minds out there. It has helped me speed up my process and have a supportive community with me. It is something I am indeed grateful for in all of it.

On the other hand, when I have had the successes and the chance to share my success, I have had a strong community rooting for me. We all kind of root for each other, it is how we select who even gets to join. It is also why I am super strict on who I let in and tend to ask a lot of questions to prospective members. We don’t have the time for debbie downers and those looking to drag a man down.

And it is about having fun with it.

I know we can get results-oriented and at the end of the day, we do want results. At the same time, you cannot chase and be miserable because then you burn yourself out. It’s about going out there, learning something new, applying it, and continuing to get better. Despite my love life being inconsistent in the recent years, what changed towards the end of 2025 is that I started to have fun with it. It is what has made it all worth it.

My hermit past.

Growing up, I was not really the popular social kid. It was really out of choice. I cared little of high school politics and just wanted to get out of the dumpy environment I was in. In college, I had some friends but wasn’t the big man on campus despite being in a fraternity (it was a mid-fraternity, not a top tier frat). I would also spend part of my early-twenties as a miserable hermit.

I have seen how a lack of a social life can kind of ruin a guy and make him miserable. I also think that a top tier social life is something every man has to experience once in his life and then move on from. Today, I am going to talk about how to get one so you don’t end up being the average Redditor.

A guide to fixing your social life.

To fix your social life, you must also fix yourself. Let’s just say that the edgy stuff you think may fly on Twitter is going to lose you a ton of respect in the real world. I am going to share some stories on how. But first, let’s jump right into it.

1 - You MUST move to a world class city, the bigger the better.

Think of it this way, they hype up college as being the apex of social life. Chances of you having a top tier social life at a commuter campus, community school, or some small liberal arts school were small. Your social life would have paled in comparison to some guy going to a big state party school. Picking the right city to move to in your twenties is an even higher pressure decision than picking the right college.

None of this works or is applicable if you don’t pick a massive city. For example, I spent a part of my early-twenties in Atlanta and trying to build a social life there was tough. If you were not willing to be Religious (and to their credit, a lot of the “Good Christians” I had the privilege to meet were genuinely good people but you had to live by strict moral codes), then making new friends was tough. People made their friends in college and stuck to those very friends. Most people proactively tried to exclude outsiders from their cliques as well.

Despite me living a comfortable life in Atlanta and saving money on top of that, I realized as a guy in his early-twenties that it was not the city for me. As a result, I moved to NYC and it is by far the best decision I have made in my twenties. If you are not moving to a world class city, it won’t happen for you.

2 - And live in the “happening” part of that city, roommates are preferred.

If you move to NYC, you move to Manhattan rather than Staten Island or the outer boroughs. I had a friend who moved to NYC but moved to a suburban area of Queens at 23. He had no friends in his first year and was more lonely than he was in his city in Ohio.

You get roommates, three is about ideal. If you are in your twenties, this is actually preferred. If you luck out with the right ones, they will become some of your closest friends. Years later, I had lunch with my first ever roommate in Manhattan that I met years ago.

You want to be where the ambitious and younger people are. The setup will speak to the kinds of people you meet when out to dinners and such.

As a bonus, if you can pull it off, you live in buildings that have a high number of younger and socially extroverted people. Every city will have such a building or neighborhood. Some buildings will even throw monthly events for residents.

3 - You must fix yourself mentally and get away from depressing places on the internet.

After the right set up, how you present yourself is most important. A big thing to keep in mind is that you cannot be desperate for a social life. I was and it was off putting to people. I will go in depth about this later on because this is huge for fixing your social life. On the other hand, you have to leave the toxic online communities that drain your mood.

Look, that Groyper Nick Fuentes meme might be worth a laugh if you share it behind an anonymous account on Twitter but in real life, with normal real people, it is going to lose you a ton of friends. I’d say avoiding politics and stepping away from it is the best first step to take to fixing your social life. Try to stick to topics like celebrities, sports, travel, arts, and movies.

We had a dinner once where this one guy told a race joke and the whole table gasped. This guy was the brother of one of the guys in the group and he kept on repeating online memes. By the end, we all dropped the brother. This was a group that had a number of attractive women and access to exclusive nightlife venues.

I lose a lot of guys here who tell me “but I want people to accept me for me! What good is a social life if I cannot talk to normal people like how I would in Call Of Duty lobbies?”, to that, I say stop reading and have fun keeping your friendships online. You must step away from these online communities where people whine all the time, people with actual social lives are not like that.

You also make yourself a happier person. People love being around happier people. Find a hobby to make yourself happy. Don’t be grumpy and miserable. You will find that heading out energetic, positive, and in a good mood attracts good people in your life!

4 - Go to events that are not too mainstream or aggressively advertised.

For example, I knew guys who went to “MeetUp” back in the day and said it was all the same. Some creepy old man would be hitting on some average looking women who were the only women there. You should go to places like Networking events in your industry, parties you need to pay to go into, and any events that tie into your hobby.

One thing that worked for me was Timeleft Dinners, every major city has them. I have found other apps similar to them as well. There are apps like this on the rise lately and I have made a lot of friends from them. At times, you might even meet powerful and social people from them.

A friend of mines went to a dinner from such an app and met some Influencers there. He hit it off with them and now, after months, he is DMing some aspiring models as well as active pornstars. He has been able to get with the pornstars due to proximity and even been to dinners with them. It’s all because the right Influencers liked him.

5 - Do the above a number of times and remember the Pareto Principle.

In reality, only 20% of the people you meet will become your friends. The rest of the people you meet you will forget. That’s really all you need in most cases. Keep doing this consistently overtime and you will continue to build your social circle.

Having social media helps a lot. As much as I hate to say it, a well put-together Instagram is like your social life resume. It makes things a lot easier and relieves any concerns people may have about you. It signals to them that you “get it” and aren’t some antisocial loser. I say this as someone who hates social media.

Where your friends will come from.

I ran the numbers on where my closest friendships after college have come from and here were common avenues:

• Former coworkers (not when they were actually coworkers)

• Former roommates

• Friends of former coworkers and former roommates

• Travel Groups (Contiki is a famous one)

• Networking events

• Neighbors when I lived in younger buildings with an energetic vibe

• Guys I met out at bars in a few rare cases (not a common avenue or one I would recommend for other men)

• Timeleft Dinners and the like

• Online friends from Game communities (rare and in the minority but met some good ones)

Here is what hasn’t worked and my theory as to why.

• Hobbies - Most people in Hobby Groups are too into the hobby to want to be your friend and some get competitive for the wrong reasons

• Coworkers - Goes without saying, coworkers are not your friends

• Any kind of “social activity” meetup - Be it Run Club or whatever, I think most people go to them once and then drop

• Nightlife - Most guys are out to get some action and only fools talk to other men

What helps accelerate your social life.

There are going to be a few things that are just going to accelerate your social life and make it easier. I have already talked about the importance of moving to the right major city. Outside of what has been mentioned, here are some things that will help your social life as a man.

Good Looks.

Goes without saying but there is something to this. One is that women will want to sleep with you and keep you around. The other is that other men will see you as someone they can use to attract and meet women. If you are not genetically blessed or at a point where you are jacked, then dressing well has a huge impact.

Your ability to attract women.

Go to a party and bring five women? Most guys will be itching to be your friend. In fact, I have found that being good with approaching and closing as well as approaching women has helped me accelerate my social life. I have been out approaching solo and had success only for other men to want to be my friend because of it. You have a lot of leverage this way.

I met some great friends by being in a good mood, going out to a venue, and approaching hot girls in front of them. In one situation, I made friends with a guy who got me front row seats to an NBA Game. I am not a huge basketball fan but I went with it since I managed to, inadvertently, get the guy laid by having the girl’s friend talk to him.

What not to do.

Here are some things that can ruin your social life or your opportunity to get one outside of what has been mentioned.

Neediness.

Almost every Hobby group or Meetup group has that one guy who is always trying to call everyone to events. That one guy who is always overly social and trying to invite everyone out everywhere. You don’t want to be this guy. We had such a guy in our Co-Ed Soccer League many years ago.

People found him annoying and it got so bad that we all ended up having dinners and outings that excluded him. Women would spend a lot of time gossiping about the guy and how bad he was. They said they could smell desperation on him and wanted to stay away. Don’t be this guy.

Do it for getting girls.

I have known a ton of guys that do this and women see right through it. In fact, most guys do social life for this and it inevitably crashes and burns. Do not be most guys. Sleeping around with women in your social circle is risky behavior. Keep your Game life and Social life separate from each other in most cases unless you have hit it off with women you can introduce to your friends.

What it is actually like.

So what it is like to have such an active social life as an adult? I will try to describe it the best way I can but it varies so much.

• You get out of work

• Friends in the group chat hit you up (oh yeah, get used to Group Chats!)

• They want to hang out for dinner and drinks

• You go

• Next day, friends hit you up for that event in town

• You go

• You socialize and buy event tickets together when drunk one night

• A few days or weeks later you go to said event

• Some of you decide to book a yacht

• You invite hot girls you know over

• Friends and hot girls join you on yachts

• Weekend comes

• You decide on a random Sunday brunch

• About a group of 6 to 10 of you go to Sunday brunch

• You promise you will only have four mimosas but you have ten

• Inevitable brunch nap comes

• You are inexperienced with brunch naps so you skip them and now can’t even sleep at night

• It all happens so fast

• Your social calendar is packed

• You are out and about alone and BAM, you randomly run into a friend

• Okay let’s hang out and get some drinks or something

• Go 30 it’s your birthday

• Brunch or dinner and a bunch of people sing Happy Birthday

• Time to hit the club or go out for drinks!

• We’re gonna party really hard and drink so much because it is your birthday and btw, one person from the group needs to get their stomach pumped

• You look at yourself in the mirror and realize this is too much all at once

• You plan your exit

• But remnants remain of such a social life

• You reminisce with the crew over a more peaceful dinner and limit yourself to two glasses of wine - such fun times were at

• Okay we’re running it back and so doing this whole thing again!

• Wait….pause…I have to get my finances, career, and money right too

Careful, you might end up like me and not have enough time to yourself. Before you know it, you are starting to wake up with hangovers on weekdays because you and your friends went out and drank too much that previous night. It was good while it lasted but after experiencing it, you want some solitude now.

Every man should experience this at least once in life.

I don’t think that this is sustainable over the long-term and you should not want it to be. However, the moments you have are going to be some of the best. You will remember them for years to come. Random times in the day, you are going to smirk and laugh as one of these past memories hits you.

Long story short, the experiment took off and this was the result below.

The lesson and the modern reality.

Let’s face it, since the 2010s, and especially after 2019, the dating apps have gone downhill in a huge way for most men. It used to be that pro photos alone would guarantee most men hundreds of matches but now, they might get you almost none. Every year, the big dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have practically become a predatory model to mooch as much money from men as possible. Even after all that, the stock of companies like Match Group sinks. We are in need of disruption and for the Tinders, Bumbles, and Hinge to be unseated and pushed into irrelevance.

If you start your profile and are not the most liked, the algorithm is brutal. This means you have to restart your entire profile. As a result, you now have to either buy a new phone and get a new number to successfully pull this off. A lot of effort and after all that, you might still get flagged as a fake account and not have any of this work.

The problem is that there are too many guys.

It really is that easy. Right now, the apps are like your local bar. A bunch of dudes gather for drinks, drink too much, drool over whatever woman walks in, and borderline creep her out. The few women around hold a ton of power due to the fact that they are fewer in number and most men around them are desperate.

Just look at the apps, you have so many men who are average, broke, and not socially calibrated taking up space. While they may not be “competition”, if their profile is new, she still has to swipe through a ton of those new profiles to get to one she likes. Once again, even relatively top notch profiles feel the deflation. I know of guys who used to get thousands of matches now getting below 500 in a year. Everyone is feeling the deflation due to there just being more guys now.

Then, as Murray Hill Guy’s experiment shows, these men are desperate and thirsty. Some of these men are also borderline creepy so women have their guards up. All of this inflates the ego of even an average woman to many degrees. The problem is that men are not vetted before they get on these apps, it’s like your average local sports bar in Atlanta. All you end up with is a bunch of fat drunks catcalling women.

Women have a ton of options on these apps. According to studies, almost 64% of users on Hinge are men and on the other apps, it is supposedly worse. In other words, a woman with slightly above average looks has way more options than even the best looking guys out there. This was all kind of common knowledge for a while but the experiment was just a refresher. It even got on Match Group’s radar and made the CEO block Murray Hill Guy.

And below the stock of Match Group crashes.

The Dilemma.

People will tell you to just go outside and meet women in real life. This may work if you are trying to find a wife but if you are trying to date and sleep around, it is just not scalable. It is too big of an investment and you practically need to make it a big three priority in your life. If you do not, regardless of what anyone tells you, you will fail.

Even then, I find that consistently going out multiple times a week is tough when you have a job and life happens. That and you get sick because the weather is trash right now. Only guys who are dedicated to “daygame” or “nightgame” can make that time. Other than that, it is awkward and strange to talk to women in public and as a newbie, you will fail.

Dating apps, the vast majority of men, were the main way to meet women. Certain men will cope and whine about quality but in reality, I found that in the 2010s, I frequently went on dates with and occasionally closed above average looking women. I still think that if you are a guy who wants to date and sleep around a lot, online game is simply undefeated and by far the best option, even now.

On the Degen Diaries chat, while we do have members who pull multiple times a month from cold approach, the truth is that even they themselves are getting outdone by guys who either have a top tier Instagram or top tier profiles for online dating. Cold approach simply can’t be scaled out like the dating apps can.

The solution.

One thing is clear, the dating app market is long overdue for some serious disruption. At this point, the monopoly of Match Group and Bumble has to be broken or else, we will live in a broken culture. We need innovation and breakthrough. To a degree, we are somewhat getting it in recent years with the rise of sites like Seeking and Raya, they have the right overall idea.You must somehow vet men and make it tougher for the average guy to get in.

Instead of operating like your average sports bar in Atlanta, you operate like an exclusive nightclub in NYC. Women can get in for free because we have all seen that when the apps becomes sausagefests, everyone loses. For men to get in, they need to either:

• Have women vote them in based on their looks during a certain period

• Refer a number of women to the app (the online version of bringing girls to the club with you)

• Pay a decent chunk of money

This way, you even out the gender ratio for starters and make it so women are only dealing with guys they want to deal with. When women are in an environment where they are the majority and dealing with guys that are not completely creepy but lean more on the higher value side, they tend to be easier to deal with. Dating apps cannot allow in just any average guy anymore and expect to give pleasant experiences.

The new dating app that takes off needs to operate like that high-end event or exclusive nightclub. Raya has the right idea but you need a Raya at scale. I say a Raya that lets in any women at all and vets men. It is the only way we fix this circus. Make money put in the work to be on a dating app rather than just hogging up space.