3/22/25 - The Meaning Of Grit

The night I woke up after sleeping for months.

I have a lot coming up and in about a month or so, I am going to help a friend out with his bootcamp that he is running in Europe. This is the same friend I pulled with when we were in Prague. All that said, I had been asleep the past few months when it comes to cold approach and women. Despite breaking my dry spell and getting laid in February, I had been passive:

• Timeleft dinners

• Relying way too much on friends when going out

• Only going out when friends were going out

This past Saturday, I had a dinner scheduled with my neighbors who were this cool Ukrainian couple. We went to a steakhouse and talked about the building we live in. They also told me their situation coming from Ukraine and even flat out said how life in the country is miserable. The guy would even proceed to call it a shithole.

They said as much as they love Trump, his policy will ultimately work against them and make it tough for them to stay in the US long-term, especially as the war ends. I guess that conversation knocked a bit of gratitude into me. Different hearing about Ukraine from actual Ukrainians rather than some annoying American liberal.

The momentum from this dinner and walk, like actually socializing with people, made me want to go right to doing nightgame. I had no wing to count on and was going at it solo.

Onto Socialista.

One of the best venues in Miami with the highest quality. I arrive and notice that a bouncer I was cool with was working the upstairs restaurant. I made small talk with him and then went downstairs to the bar. The picker who had let me through in the past told me I had to have a girl with me. Fair enough, I smile and walk off.

I was going to game the area near the bar and talk to girls heading there. On the way I see these two brunettes, one tall and attractive and the other short and kind of cute (but not exactly hot). So I open them asking if they were going to Socialista and they said yes, they had never been.

In that time, I start telling them it is hard to get in but the more people you have in the group….shorter brunette immediately cuts me off and says “not interested”. Oh I felt it, that feeling you get after a harsh rejection. I had not had one of these in a while but after a while, I finally got it.

And there I was faced with a decision.

They say some men, when they get punched in the mouth, fold and quit. Other men, the few, actually wake up. They get focused and that punch wakes them up. It is almost like they were begging for it all along as an excuse to unleash their inner beast.

I was going to be that man. For far too many weeks I had sat on the sidelines and relied on others, no more. There is a bootcamp that my friend needs help running in a month and I was not going to go to Europe stale and not having gone out. Wings be damned, I am going to go at it alone.

I waited about 20 more minutes to see if anymore girls would roll in but no, none there. So I made the decision to go to Regatta.

Regatta.

After taking the Uber to Regatta, I arrived and started doing approaches. That approach at Socialista was not going to be my last one tonight, not a chance.

Girls taking pics.

I noticed that near the marina, these girls were taking pics. One was kind of cute and the other you could barely see her face. I approach them and the one taking the pic showed her face. Whoa nelly this woman was not hot at all. They said they have boyfriends and those boyfriends saw me. I smile and walk away.

Two blondes who almost got me in their selfie.

I was going to go at the part of Regatta where they have the nets you can sit on, they were full. Meanwhile, behind me, these two blondes are taking a selfie. As they are taking it, I look their way. I do not approach at first but when they finish I do. I said they almost got me in their selfie and should be careful in a playful way. One blonde was young and the other looked like she was a grandma. Younger blonde smiles and then they walk away, another bad set.

At this point, a part of me is filling up with doubt. Am I aging poorly? Have I really aged like shit in the past 2 years? Is something off about my look? But I cannot let my mind ponder on that.

Dark-haired girls with sports hats.

Then I opened this dark-haired girl with a blue and white hat, classic colors of either Kentucky or Duke. So I open with that and she is actually receptive. Quite a shock compared to the first 3 approaches being rejections. We make small talk but my verbal game is trash. I remember the wrong details or get the things she said wrong. We talked, her friend and I, for at least a couple of minutes before a guy in their group broke up the set.

These girls were not hot per se but they were definitely kind of cute. Despite the set going sideways, I was happy because I finally had a set that was not an immediate blow out. If I had better verbal game, I could have done something here so now I know what I needed to work on.

Hot blonde with her friend.

Earlier in the night, I saw this hot blonde and her friend with a really tall dude that I thought was in their group. Then I see them by themselves and open. The bar, which usually plays some of the worst music in Miami, played a good Calvin Harris song which I liked. My opener was “Best song they played so far right?”.

Situational has always been my best friend. The set is progressing well actually, these girls are friendly, laughing, and having a great time for the minute I am talking to them. Then, I guess in my head I had this fear that the guy would come. Maybe it is due to being so far away from game all these months.

I excuse myself for some reason that I cannot explain but that approach really did escalate my confidence. The blonde was flat out beautiful and prettier than any girl I had talked to tonight by far.

Two Latinas.

I remember being near these two Latinas near the harbor earlier in the night but they were too busy talking to each other so I wandered off. However, later in the night I would go back to them. I opened them as they were looking out at the views and ask the most interesting thing they have seen.

From here the set lasted for what seemed to be almost an hour. I was not way too into these girls but they were cute. The thing is, I found that they looked almost way too young, like 19 or 20 or something….However, I still number close after what was an hour of a great vibe.

Lessons

I had a few takeaways from my first solo nightgame lesson in ages

• Must be shorter and to the point with my approaches

• Verbal game needs a lot of work as it is rusty

But most importantly, it is about grit.

Game is ultimately about grit unless you find a gimmick. You have to go out and make things happen even when all the cards are down. When no wing is available for the night and you know that the night is going to be unfriendly towards you as you are out solo, you have to make it happen. Run towards the tough situations that are likely to emotionally hurt you at first.

We talk about strategy and all that which is important but at the end of the day, you have to get out there. I will write more about grit later.