As you go out on weekends and get older, you start to realize over time that nightlife changes for you as you age into the scene. Aging into the scene is a great way to think about it as a 30 year old who has been going out for a decade is far older than a 40 year old who just started going out a few years ago (hey, it happens!). However, it is important to realize based on your energy levels, actual age, and preferences, how to think about nightlife.
One thing I will say is that everyone should experience various kinds of nightlife in their lives. Go to that nightclub but also go to that rooftop bar that is a bit more quiet. However, as you explore various kinds of nightlife, it will start to make more sense to you as to why most people self-segregate by age. While you won’t be seen as the “Old Man At A College Party” in nightlife, you will start to subtly feel out of place if your energy levels do not match what each kind of scene brings.
You can think of this as sports. Players in their youth (early 20s) often rely on reflexes and chaos alone to win. Meanwhile, older veterans rely on experience, technique, and intuition developed over a long period of time to win. These days, you also find a lot of the best athletes are playing the sport at a high-level even in their 40s (Tom Brady, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Lebron James).
A good way to think about this is that you will likely fall back on tendencies based on your age, energy levels, and place in life. While you can definitely be over 40 and party with 20-somethings at a dive bar, and plenty of men do, you will start to age out of that scene a lot quicker once you have had your fill. Here is how to think about nightlife based on your age.
Early and Mid 20s - Fun and Wild
From about 21 (or younger for those of you not in the US) to 25, nightlife will typically entail:
Loud bars
Dive bars
Raves
College bars (or anywhere college kids gather)
House parties where you drink out of red plastic cups
Beer pong
Nightclubs that aren’t too fancy
That super busy bar in town on a Friday night
Most guys who go out during this age are looking to binge drink and “party hard”. A lot of times, there are “pre-games” where you down a bunch of alcohol and go out drunk at around 11:30 PM to sometimes even 1 AM. Typically, you are out with the boys, might hit on some women (while drunk), get a drunk makeout, and occasionally pull (it’s a lot more rare than what media tells you). You have the liver and the energy to down all those shots so it’s nothing.
In these kinds of places, you are most likely to also see fights. The venues get so crowded at times that moving around becomes impossible and you have to push your way through. I used to go to bars in NYC where making your way from one end of the bar to another was a battle on its own.
For you, nightlife at this stage of life is all about partying, drinking, raging hard, and getting it all out of your system. For Americans in particular, where the legal drinking age is 21, there is a period from 21 to about 23 when a lot of people just want to binge drink and get wasted. However, alcohol consumption has been going down as Gen Z prefers marijuana instead.
I have found that there are still Gen Zs and college kids who party and drink hard but statistics do say it is on the way down. Regardless of age, I think every guy who is curious about nightlife and the party demon should have this phase of life and get it out of his system as soon as possible.
Late 20s - The Transition Period
The Late 20s are what I like to call the transition phase in nightlife. It’s a unique position to be in because a lot of guys will want their “last hurrah” and go even harder at the bars they were previously going to in their early and mid 20s. However, at some point, the hangovers hit and going to the same kinds of bars hundreds of times pushes you to look for something different.
This is the age where you will go to:
Warehouse parties
Fancier pre-games where you are not drinking out of a plastic cup
Classier dive bars that aren’t as crazy
Rooftops
Nightclubs that charge a lot for drinks and have a strict door ($30 for a vodka soda in a plastic cup!)
Music festivals with friends
Places where you don’t have to scream to hear people
The late 20s are what we like to call the “leave nothing on the table” phase of nightlife. You know that you cannot party forever, at least not like this, and it is time to experience everything before you age out of the scene entirely. This is how a lot of guys feel from the ages of 26 to 30. The ragers, binge drinking, and craziness are about to get less frequent so you want to explore as much as you can.
Of all the ages, I find that the Late 20s are by far the biggest transition point with nightlife. Right before 30 hits, you realize whether someone is going to age out of the lifestyle completely or if they are going to be almost a lifer. It is when the hangovers become more frequent and the pressure from society to get more “serious” about life kicks in that many men simply drop out of going out on weekends.
If you had a group of friends you used to go out with, expect at least half of them to drop out by the time you are 30. Guys get married, they get serious about other things, and partying just doesn’t do it like it used to. You will find the herd thinning and even pre-games are less frequent. Even how you approach nightlife is about to change.
30s - Efficiency
Guys who have stuck around in nightlife after the age of 30 have done so because they are making up for lost time and want to score. Most of the times, they don’t have the tolerance for a loud venue where the ratios are bad. The reason you don’t find men over 30 at that one loud dive bar isn’t because these guys can’t party or feel out of place, it’s because they realize that getting women from such places is a lost cause.
This is the age where you go to:
Quieter rooftops where you can hear people
Cocktail bars
Less crowded venues
Hotel bars
Exclusive parties where you know the host well
Fancy restaurants with a bar
Places with a strict dress code (no shorts!)
Places with a tough door to keep hooligans out
A lot of guys who are still going out in their 30s are optimizing for efficiency when it comes to meeting women and closing. Many of them are comfortable with going out alone. In fact, they turn down “pre-games” they are invited to because they have no use for pointless socializing if it is not going to lead to a close. They almost become isolated on purpose because they see that pointless socializing is not going to get them the woman they are eyeing and feel like time isn’t exactly on their side.
At this point, you get guys who have already been through the nightlife ringer and while it was fun, they are upset at how many nights they went out and left home empty-handed. You will find that men in their 30s who are good with women will sometimes even be begged to come to nightclubs and places that are frequented by 20-somethings but just outright refuse because they see no point.
Occasionally, they might go to that one dive bar or club once or twice a year to have some fun but for them, nightlife becomes business. They are out to meet women, score, and get that part of life out of their system. You will find that these men also arrive early (around 10 PM) and are out by midnight. They realize how much harder it is to pull after midnight and they rather be productive the next day.
40+ - Exclusivity
Most guys doing nightlife in their 40s have a chip on their shoulder and usually felt like their 30s left at least something to be desired. However, with age, such men decide that it is a waste of time to be out late hunting and instead, use their resources and experience to cultivate an exclusive atmosphere that favors them. They are done chasing, they change the field in their favor and the goal is the same as it was in their twenties, to close.
This is the age where nightlife becomes more:
Exclusive parties where they are the host
A venue where they know the staff well and practically get free drinks
A place that is hard to get in for everyone else but easy to get in for them
Parties with powerful and rich men who are well-connected
Mansion parties
Parties where women are guaranteed to outnumber men
Private events
Events where most women are attractive
You don’t often hear of men in their 40s partying and doing nightlife, that’s actually on purpose. These guys rather keep it all quiet and out of the view of the public eye. It is their ideal scenario that no one hears of the kinds of parties they have. In reality, if most men heard about the quality of such parties that go on, they would become consumed with envy and rage.
Dan Bilzerian at his peak and Hugh Hefner are examples of what older men partying looks like. At the end of the day, the underlying theme is that only valuable and useful men are ever allowed. Women are allowed if they are good looking. It is all kept out of the public eye because they know the amount of heat it will bring. They don’t want to keep telling the people begging that the answer is no.
At this stage, the party is one they run and everyone else has to prove themselves. It is not even advertised or shown to other people because they don’t want to waste hours saying no to the countless young men that beg. Most go out of their way to not advertise it and will even tell anyone who runs with them to not tell a soul. Only exceptions are beautiful women who can bring a good looking friend.
Conclusion.
None of this is completely set in stone but most of the times, it tends to be right. For example, you might have a 40-year old man that still wants to binge drink at a dive bar every weekend. You might also get the 22-year old guy who somehow gets in at a mansion party. However, over time, the nightlife scene has ages of men who gravitate towards it for a reason.