Over the years, I have winged with a lot of guys in the Game community who are what I like to call pure. What I mean by this is that they do not have any vices such as drinking, partying, going to strip clubs, or doing things that hot girls and guys that usually get them would be going. These are the kinds of guys that do nightgame sober.
Let’s make one thing clear, vices are bad for you.
Drinking is bad for you because alcohol has so many side effects and things like binge drinking can be detrimental to your long-term health.
Gambling, which I will not talk about much since it is not that relevant to a game life, is bad for you.
Going to strip clubs is also bad for you if you fall in love with a stripper and gamble away all of your earnings.
Doing drugs is bad for you, no seriously, it is.
However, over the years, there is something I have noticed about guys who are Pure and do game. The kind of guys who try to live a clean life but go out to do cold approach nightgame and make their living off of cold approach or trying to pick up women that way.
They are rarely successful.
I have gamed with a great deal of guys who do not drink but are still going out to nightclubs to cold approach and close. In fact, in all of my years of being in the Game community and knowing guys in it, it is rare for me to meet one that has no vices yet still manages to do regularly well with cold approach. Online dating is more of the exception if the guy is a Chad who plays sports and cannot afford to drink much.
The question puzzled me, why is it that most of the guys I have known that regularly picked up women from bars and clubs often had a lot of vices? Why is it that the guys who go to a strip club, drink (but not too much), and live that degenerate life also tend to do better in terms of closing women?
Is it the lack of inhibition?
Is it because they just habitually go out more?
Is it because they have more loose morals?
The reality is, it is because of congruence.
As much as we hate to admit it, the degenerate life of trying to get a high lay count is ultimately a vice. Wanting to sleep around and have sex with lots of women in and of itself is a vice. Going out there to proactively do it is also a vice. The guys who live a somewhat, but not entirely degenerate life, are living a life congruent with this vice.
For example, let’s say you have two different guys who go out to a club on a Friday night.
Guy 1 is a PUA who wants to go where the “volume” is and get his approaches in. He is going to the club solely to “practice game”. This guy probably meets a wing from a chat at a nightclub or he even goes out solo. I know because for the longest time, I was this guy.
Guy 2 is a Natural who is going out to the club to drink and party with his friends. He knows that nightclubs are for partying and drinking, nothing else. He probably pre-games with his friends on a Friday night and shows up with his group to a club slightly intoxicated. I have also been this guy.
Why Guy 2 usually gets better results.
Is it because of friends? Is it because he is drunk? While these play a role, I actually believe that Guy 1 and most PUAs in general subconsciously put pussy on the pedestal. Your only reason for going out to a bar or club on a Friday night is to get chicks. Now add to this that you are not drinking or anything, you are solely there for “game”, this shows a lack of congruence. Women pick up on this fast.
Meanwhile, Guy 2 is going out because he wants to have a good time with his somewhat intoxicated friends. He shows up to the club and is already in a party mood. He has a great time and before you know it, he is talking to girls and hitting it off with them. It is all congruent, he is in an environment of drinking and partying because his friends dragged him out there and he was already doing all of that.
Now am I saying you need to drink and party hard to get laid?
Not exactly, but you need to pick a congruent environment and unless you are a dance fanatic or a hardcore fan of a certain DJ, a nightclub is not that place. The way to think about it is this, if your sole reason for going out is solely to “practice game”, you are doing it wrong. Rather, practicing game should be something you naturally do because of the environment you are in.
This is also why I am mostly against daygame sessions these days. Do them but do them as an outcome of you loving the face. For example, you go to see a beautiful marina for a long walk, happen to find some girls, and then you meet them and close. Compared to going out solely to cold approach which can make you miserable in the long run.
The reality is, vices make you more relatable and congruent.
The guy who goes out to a club to party, drink, and have a good time is more relatable than the sober PUA who only goes there to practice game. Think of it this way, most wealthy business partners you make in this world will have certain vices. Most guys you meet in nightlife who are getting laid are going to have vices. They will drink, do drugs, go to strip clubs, and live that degenerate life.
To some extent, you will have to fit in. For guys in this situation, I say find the happy medium. A little bit buzzed over two vodka sodas is completely fine, getting thrashed and binge drinking is not. If you do not drink or do any of the vices, people will constantly ask “Well what is he doing here exactly?”. Most of the times, it will be “he is here to just get women”.
About strip clubs.
I will do a deeper post into this but I think that Strip Clubs can teach guys valuable lessons about how women operate. In some ways, I say it is game on a simulator. You get to see how women act when they want something from you. You get to see how various women act when they like you in a sexual setting versus not.
The other thing I believe strip clubs can help so many men with is judgment. Due to the rise of the Red Pill, too many young men have become gung ho judgmental no sex before marriage Christian types. These same naive men think that the Church girl on a Sunday was not pleasured by a degenerate the night before. It is so important for men who want to do well in game to not be judgmental towards women and learn how to put women at ease.
Like any other vice, I think that going to strip clubs can go out of hand. You can get scammed or played. You can end up falling for a stripper. It does come with risks but the reality is, if you fell victim to those risks, your game and social smarts need some work.
Closing out, BE CONGRUENT!
I am not saying that the sober goody-two shoe men can’t get laid, what I am saying instead is that it should be congruent. Opt to do more daygame. Go for hiking or more health oriented clubs. Join a Run Club, they are taking off like crazy these days. Don’t waste your time with nightlife unless you absolutely have a reason to be there.
Most PUA guys will benefit more from joining a Run Club or playing Volleyball than doing nightgame or even a lot of daygame. Find a reason to be there other than just game.