Why PUA Cold Approach doesn't work for most guys who do it.

Something that has been going wrong for years.

The Pickup and Game industry for years has attracted loser and socially awkward guys that struggle with women to it. Overall, the idea is that the guy gets a pep talk, talks to a ton of women under the supervision of a coach, and hopefully fix his dating life through what they call a “bootcamp”. After talking to various guys who have done bootcamps, I have realized that they just don’t work.

In fact, I am coming to realize that even for most guys doing cold approach sessions, there is very little to show for it long-term. All that has happened are countless hours at night spent “sarging” and almost little to no dates or lays with attractive women. A lot of guys out there are hurting as they throw thousands at bootcamps from world class “dating coaches”. Even after hundreds of approaches, nothing has stuck.

So what happened?

At the end of the day, for most of these guys, the problem is that they got fed a lie. You have dating coaches telling men that they can be broke, living with their parents, not have their lives together, and still get hot girls because they have coached guys to do that. Even all that aside, the primary problem never got fixed. The primary problem is that you do not know the guys who typically get into game.

The typical guy that gets into game and PUA.

The typical guy that gets into game was likely awkward in his teens, a social shut in, and did things like post on the internet and play videogames while more social guys played sports. In most cases, this guy missed the opportunity to interact with women when he was in his teens. During that time, key social skills were being missed. High school and college show you how to interact with a lot of normal people at once.

Why “cold approach” cannot fix this.

Cold approach cannot fix this because it is ultimately a gimmick. You are putting a Band-Aid on a wound rather than truly fixing what is lacking; good social skills. This is part of why I talked about how most guys in the pickup industry who get women (and it is far from most), only get certain kinds of women. Any woman who has good social skills and some status can immediately size up a guy who is a fake.

Cold approach can help embolden a guy but after a while, what you are left with are just weird guys that go around practically harassing random women. Pickup taught us all the wrong things about what success should be. Success should not be measured by how much “action” you take. In fact, even getting a number should not be used as that much of a measuring stick. Sure, lay count is telling but it needs to be something deeper.

Success should be defined by how much you can trust a guy to interact with high status people and attractive women in a social setting.

Here is a good litmus test for a guy you wing with, ask yourself how much you would trust him to not make a fool out of himself in the company of attractive women and high status men. The reality for most guys in Pickup is that 90% of them do not fit this bill. Most of them will act awkward, weird, and cringey around such people. In fact, most of them will even make you look bad.

When women are sizing up men, they are evaluating if the guy “gets it”. “Gets it” is basically her hoping the guy does not make himself, and her, look like fools in social settings. Well, most guys in the game community do not pass this test. Women can see right through the gimmicks and the guy is disqualified as a result.

The foundation of most of these men is weak.

Simply spam approaching with canned openers is not cutting it. A lot of these guys are hopeless and need to learn good social skills before they can even go around randomly chatting up a ton of women. For these men, an effort needs to be made to address social gaps they had in their upbringing. It is partially why so many of these men will go from being aspiring PUAs to incels.

You should not be asking yourself how many women you can boldly talk to or even take home. Instead, you should be asking how comfortable would a hot girl feel introducing you to her friends if you were to date.

Plus, it is more enjoyable that way.

I get it, as game guys, we chase a lay count and I am sort of doing that myself. However, this is also why so many PUAs burn out and either become religious nutjobs, annoying Red Pillers, or political loonies. The lonely lifestyle of randomly spam approach a bunch of women and hoping some random average chick gets you a chance is unfulfilling. This is why so many of these guys go from chasing women to “hey be a man of God and get a family already”.

When you can invite hot girls to your birthday parties, go on boat parties with them, have actual open relationships with them, sleep with their friends while having them be okay with it, and get into exclusive venues because they are with you, that becomes more fulfilling. When you can meet high status guys thanks to you winning over hot girls, it becomes more fulfilling. When you can help yourself to a better job or better lifestyle thanks to the people you meet, it becomes more fulfilling. However, most pickup guys will never get there.